The truth will bring us together
by Baby24-Misery
Summary: Set after “The Berrisford Agenda”. Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now… AM COMPLETE
1. I'm always alright

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea for the story, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction :)

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to hit first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now... A/M

Chapter one – I'm always alright 

"I'm always all right" – Alec said, his famous smirk playing on his face. Than he just turned around and left leaving Max standing.

She didn't know what to think. There she was thinking no one could surprise her, that she can read everyone. But there was something about Alec she couldn't put her finger on. He changed. He was no longer that smart alec she knew. But she still didn't know the entire truth. She knew that he loved that girl, Rachel, but she needed to know more. Why her? She wanted to help him adjust to the real world, and that means being able to confide to someone. _"If I'm gonna work with him I need to know that he won't bail on me"_ – she thought.

"Come on Missy, remove that pensive look from your face, and go to work! Bip!" – Normal shouted, and that got Maxes attention.

"OK, Normal, no need to shout! See I'm going! Walking through that door, going to work. Just chill for crying sake! You know that's not good for you. - Max said to Normal trying to ease up the situation, but Normal didn't seem very understanding.

"GO!!! – He shouted! – Everyone! Just go! Bip! Oh, God, it's hard to be the manager! – He sighed and went to his desk.

Max was riding her bike to her next destination, but her mind was concentrated on everything except work. That was the benefit being the transgenic. She could think at several things at the same time. The streets were especially calm today. Like no one seems to notice anything. Everyone was minding their own business. Except Max. Her mind was racing. "_I need to know what happened in that house. I know Alec was on a mission that went bad for everyone. But, why? He was a soldier. He was trained to keep his feelings to himself. Shit, he was not supposed to have feelings! Or did he? Come on, Max, you know he did. And strong, that is. What triggered them? OK, since Logan has no job for me, I will have to keep myself busy. I'll do some investigation on my own. "_ – She thought.

She decided that she needed to hurry so Normal wouldn't flip out on her again. So she rode her bike even faster reaching her destination, leaving the package, and left for her next destination, Berrisfords mansion.

She looked at that great house, trying to decide should she go in. She listed pros and cons in her head. _"OK, cons: it's not my business, maybe there's nothing there, Alec will find out somehow, and will hate me for not keeping my own business. Pros: I will find out the truth, I will understand what happened, I will understand Alec... - _With that thought something clicked inside her. Why would she want to understand him? Hell, she didn't even understand herself sometimes! "_But we're the same_." Realizing that she stood there for 5 minutes, than decided to go in. _"Well, I already rode all the way here, why not come in?"_. She got off her bike and headed in. Since there was no one around, she slipped inside the house easily. She headed for the top floor, but stopped in front of the big painting representing Berrisford family, including Rachel. She was just a little girl there, but still very pretty. She seemed to have happy childhood there. Max thought about her own childhood, and how that can be painted with only dark colors. She headed to the top floor; easily finding what used to be Rachel's room. She went inside, closing the door behind her. "_We don't need anyone showing up_." – She thought.

The room was just what she expected. White walls, big bed with lots of cushions, dresser with many pretty bottles. She smelled one of them and smiled. "_I wish I could afford something like that for myself." _It was really a nice smell. She was putting it back when she heard some footsteps. Than, the bottle accidentally slipped through her fingers, and dropped on the floor. She froze. But it seemed, no one had heard her.

"Shit, how can I be so clumsy!" – she mumbled. She knelled to the floor to pick up the bottle. She was happy to see that it didn't spill much, but didn't seem to notice that some of the perfume remained on her. She put the bottle down and headed for the bed. She couldn't resist lying on it. It felt so soft; she could almost fell asleep. Since, that wouldn't be the smartest idea, she got up, and headed for Rachel's desk. She still didn't know what she was looking for, but that her eyes fall on something she could tell it was important. There was a little journal in front of her. It had a little lock on it, but only for decoration. Max just stood there with this little treasure in her hands, not knowing what she should do. Sure, she stole before, but it was never something like this. But, her firm grasp on the little book, and determined look in her eyes showed that she won't stop investigating. She hid the journal underneath her leather jacket and headed for exit. Leaving, she couldn't help but notice the big piano in the middle of the living room. She remembered hearing Alec play and shivered. "_It all took place here. This is the room his feelings appeared. This is the room he fell in love..."_ She sighed and headed toward the door. Since no one was around she quickly got to her bike and headed to Jam Pony. She needed to hide the journal in her locker, since she still had to work.

When she got there, Alec was talking to Sketchy about some girls he met on his last delivery.

"I'm telling you, man, both were throwing themselves at me. But, since I'm a very good friend, I will let you come along on my date tonight."

"OK, but you better not stand me out. I mean, last time you took me on a date with you, you left with both of the girls, and the only company I had was a very boring bartender. – Sketchy said. – "Oh, hey, Max! Where were you? Normal has been has been asking about you for the last 20 minutes. And, you just missed Alec's story on two beautiful blonds he met."

"Oh, gee, I'm so sorry to miss that, but I get the feeling this won't be the last time Alec will tell this story. – She looked at him not realizing he was looking her funny. – "What? You won't recapitulate your story for me?" - She smiled at him.

His smirk was gone and he was just staring at her. "_What the hell...?"_ – He thought. His mind was racing as he absorbed the smell. "_God, if I didn't know any better, I would swore she smells like Rachel_. _Exactly like Rachel..."_

Well, there it is, my first chapter! I hope you liked it. Next chapter is coming soon, because I already written it, but I will update it in a day. I hope you will send me your reviews, and suggestions. Thanks!


	2. Memories just won't go away

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction :)

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to hit first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now... A/M

Thanks to Annabelle, ontheDL, Aur, Bretts-girl, Katherene, keks, my first reviewers ! :) Hope to hear from you again! I hope you'll give me some pointers on how to develop this story further. And also thanks to Mary, for giving me some ideas...Well, here chapter 2

_Chapter 2 – Memories just don't go away_

He was still shocked from smelling Rachel's perfume on Max, so he didn't hear Max talking to him.

"Hey, Alec, wake up! What's the matter with you? "

"Ahm.... Nothing....it's just I.....where were you?" – he asked moving closer. The entire color from his face vanished. He was pale and was just staring at her_. OK, what's wrong with him?_ – Max thought. She backed away from him, but he was just getting closer, until she hit the wall.

"Why do you ask? I was on a delivery, you know that." – she mumbled.

"Yes, but where?"- He was almost shaking now. This scent made him crazy.

"Well....I was...." - she started to explain not knowing what to say considering she didn't knew what's with him. Could someone seen her at the Berrisford mansion? Before she would tell him some not convincing lie, Normal came. She thought she would never say that, but was she glad to see him!

"Max, where the hell were you? – He stopped and sniffed her. – "And what's with that smell? I don't pay you enough to buy sweet perfumes! And I certainly don't pay you to go and seduce some rich guys so they can buy you perfumes. Now go to work! This is one of the busiest days for us! Bip! "– Normal said and left.

"Perfumes? What perfumes? Normal, what the hell are you talking about?!" – she said and stopped."_Oh my god," - _she remembered_ – "I dropped one of Rachel's perfumes on the floor. I must have gotten it on myself._ "Now she understood his strange behavior. She looked at him, but he was still staring at her, like he can see right through her. She couldn't move, and didn't know what to say. His eyes were piercing her soul and she could see his hurt and astonishment. He was living his pain all over again. And she was to blame. She and her ability to make everyones lives crazy. She needed to get out of there.

"Ahm...I gotta go. Normal will kick my ass. Well, that would never happen, but we don't want to push our luck, now don't we? Maybe, he started to work out." – she laughed nervously. She still needed to hide Rachel's journal, and needed to wash up. Quickly! But when she was about to turn, she lifted her arms, and Rachel's journal fell on the floor and the little lock broke.

"You dropped something" – Sketchy said and picked the journal up. Alec looked at the little book, not saying a word. Maxes eyes were wide open, not knowing if he will be able to recognize it. But, he took the journal in his hand, closed the little lock and just handed it over.

"Here you go."

"Thanks" – she whispered and left.

Alec stood there looking after her, than Sketchy said: "Well, well, who would tell? Max found her some rich daddy. Well, not that she doesn't have the looks for that, but she never seemed to be the type."

"Shut up, Sketchy." – Alec said hoarsely, still trying to figure out, what the hell just happened there. He was trying to forget, but now even Maxes scent reminded him at Rachel. He needed to forget. He closed his eyes for a second, trying to regain control, but the scent was still there. He could almost remember the exact moment he smelled it last. He could see Rachel touching him gently, like no one ever touched him before. Only that wasn't the last time he smelled it. He just smelled it back on Max, and he didn't like that for a second.

Max was at her locker, hiding the journal behind some of Logan's books that she kept there_."I cant believe I could be so stupid!_ – She felt like she could bang her head against her locker. _"How the hell I haven't thought about the smell from a perfume? Like he wouldn's notice! His scent was way sharper than any others. And even Normal could scent it! Idiot! Idiot!And than I dropped the journal! I should be medicated for being so stupid!"_

She didn't see OC approaching.

"Hey, boo, what's up? – OC asked leaning against one of the lockers. – "You're alright? You look a little pale. And what's with the sweet smell? Have a hot date later?"

"_You don't know the half of it"_ – Max thought. – "Nah, no hot date, just with my hot tub. – she sighed - I mean, I'm very tired. These double shifts will kill me. Normal still didn't find anyone to replace Marina and Suki. But, anyone who was at their right mind wouldn't wanna work here." – she said lying to her friend. Like that was what's been really bothering her.

"Yeah, well, we know who we can thank for that little arraignment" – OC responded trying to locate Alec. – "Where is our lover boy today? Did he show up finally? Honestly, I thought that boy had more courage in him to face the results of his work."

Max just stared at that little journal in front of her.

"_He has more courage than you know. Than I ever knew...."_

"It's not his fault" – she whispered, still remembering the look in his eyes.

"Huh?" – OC stared at her bewildered. – "Say again? Not his fault? Shit, girl, what's with you? You even blame things on our boy that have nothing to do with him."

Max knew that was the truth, but not anymore. And she got angry. It was much easier hating his guts!

"Well, I changed my mind!" – she said harshly slamming her locker door leaving very surprised OC there.

She needed to wash up first, and than needed to go back to work.

In the meantime, Alec was still very astonished by his experience. He knew how Max smelled normally, that was the benefit being a transgenic. And that today was not it. All he could see was his face buried in Rachel's neck taking his time to absorb her scent. Her hair, her neck, her breath. That was the smell he felt today on Max. He knew it must have been just the coincidence but memories were just rising up, and all he wanted to do was push them aside. But couldn't. He saw her smiling at him, her brown eyes sparking. He heard her tell him how she loves him... She loved him. And he loved her. But never gotten the chance to tell her. Or at least so she could hear. He remembered her body just lying on the bed, like she was gone even before. Like she died that day he told her he was there to kill her father. He wondered was she able to hear him before she died. _"Did she know I came to see her, did she know I was ready to die for her, did she know I loved her..."_ He needed to stop for second. His eyes were filling with tears. Quickly, he wiped them away. He looked around but no one seemed to notice him. He got on his bike, and left.

Not knowing he was leaving someone behind just as surprised to see him like that...

Be patient! Good stuff is coming! And very soon.3rd chapter later in the day. Review, give ideas! Make this story yours! Kiss, kiss!


	3. Dear diary

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction :)

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to hit first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now... A/M

Thanks to ontheDL! Don't worry, I was thinking exact thing as you about Alec... :)

_Chapter 3 – Dear diary..... _

Logan was taking a walk, since he had nothing better to do. Max didn't come to see him the entire day, so he wondered the streets. Suddenly he heard a car braking. He turned around to see Alec riding his bike, not even looking where he's going. It was like he was running from someone. But, than he stopped. Logan could tell something was wrong, but still didn't want to make his appearance. So he just stepped behind a wall, so Alec can't see him. He saw him wiping his eyes, before heading off and he realized the only thing he was running away from was his memories. Although he didn't like Alec very much, he still felt bad for him. He remembered how it was when he thought Max had died. "_Alec needs help, or he will do something stupid "_– Logan thought. – "_I need to talk to Max. She could talk to him. Maybe, make him realize he has friends in this world."_ With that thought he headed home, not knowing Max was way ahead of him.

Alec still thought about Rachel while riding to his next destination, but he also thought of Max. She looked at him differently since the experience at Berrisford mansion. _"Well, now she must think I'm pathetic. This only proved her that she is stronger than me. She must enjoy this. Well,I don't need her pity!"_ – he thought getting off his bike. He decided he was in no mood to go with Sketchy to their dates. All he needed was to do is to get drunk! Or at least, try. But, first he needed to see Max again. He needed to see if the smell was still there...

Max finished her work for that day trying not to think about Rachel's journal in her locker. And trying to avoid Alec. Although she washed up, she was still afraid that he might be able to feel the smell of Rachel's perfume on her. So she just stopped at Jam Pony to get another delivery before heading back out. Normal was quite surprised by that, but didn't complain. When she was finished, she went to her locker to get the rest of her things. And there was Alec leaning against it, obviously waiting for her. _"Well, there goes nothing. That smell better be gone, or I'm dead!"_

"Hey" – she said startling him. – "Need something?"

Alec turned around taking his time to smell her, but there was nothing there. Just Maxes normal scent. "_It's not there anymore. Have I imagined it? I couldn't have..."_

"Ahm...No, just checking on things before I head off on a date.

"With Sketchy and two beautiful blonds?" – Max asked smiling.

His smirk appeared on his face. – "That's the one. It should be....interesting."

Max just rolled her eyes while unlocking her locker.

"So? Any new jobs for us? Does Logan have something interesting? I mean, I could use some challenge."– Alec asked standing really close, still trying to recognize the smell he felt before. _"There's nothing there, just Max..." -_ but even that made him quiver, so he backed away.

It just occurred to Max she hasn't heard from Logan all day. She didn't even remembered to stop by his house, like she normally does.

"Oh, no, nothing new." – she said backing a little. – "Haven't heard from Logan all day".

Alec was astonished. "You haven't seen your _love_ all day?! – he said, purposely emphasizing the word love. – "Well, Max, I thought I won't see the day. Well, it was about time that you find someone who you can at least touch. That was not good for both of you."– he said seriously.

Max was getting angry, but mostly because she knew he told the truth. There was no future for her and Logan, considering the virus, but she wasn't ready to just move on.

"Well, I don't see how is that your business!" – she said harshly. – "Don't you think I don't know that's not smart, but who can determine who to love!? Ha? Could you do it....?"– she stopped, realizing she has gone too far.

He just looked aside. He felt sorry for her, knowing how she felt. He lost his love forever, but Max still needed to see Logan day after day not being able to touch him.

"Look, sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." – he apologized. – "I better get going. I shouldn't leave Sketchy with those girls alone for too long, or they'll run and I won't have any company for tonight." – he smirked while heading off.

Max just rolled her eyes thinking how Joshua was right. Alec was hiding behind his tough surface. And she felt bad for him. They were more alike than she thought.

"Well, if you need some company, just call." – she said quietly, surprising Alec and herself as well. He turned around, prepared to see pity in her eyes. But it wasn't there, just.....something he couldn't describe, but it made him quiver. For the first time he didn't have any smart response, so he just mumbled: "Ahm...yeah, sure...bye" – and with that he was gone. He almost bumped into some guy on his way out not looking where he was going.

"_Well, now I really need to get drunk!"_ And with that thought he headed towards Crash.

Max looked after him for a second feeling bad, than realizing she still needs to pack her stuff, and with that she meant her little treasure. She took Rachel's journal and put it in her backpack before heading towards her ride.

"_Well, Alec, tonights the night I will find out what exactly happened with you _

_and Rachel"_ – she thought, not realizing she will find out things she couldn't handle...

She opened her apartment door, happy to realize OC wasn't home. _"Probably at Crash"_ – she thought. – _"Even better. I need to be alone."_ She sat on the couch, took her backpack, and than pulled Rachel's journal from it. She saw that lock was broken from the fall. She opened it up and saw really nice, feminine handwriting. Just as she was about to start reading, her beeper went off. She looked at it and saw it was Logan. She thought for a second should she call him back, but decided against. _"Probably just checking on me."_ – she thought. – _"I was waiting the entire day to see whats in this journal. He can wait"._ And with that thought, she headed toward her bathroom. She decided she needed a bath. Slowly she got into the tub, and took the journal in her hands, carefully, so she wouldn't get it wet. She flipped through some of the pages trying to find the right ones. And there they were:

"..._I got my new piano teacher today. His name is Simon Lehane and he's REALLY young. Must be some wonder child. This young, and yet already musical genius. I normally don't check out my teachers, but Simon is special. I mean, he is a very handsome man. I couldn't help but notice his eyes...very pretty, but somehow sad. I know I should be concentrated on my playing instead of his eyes, but there are something about them. Like they can hypnotize me..."_ – Max stopped reading and thought: _"What's so special about his eyes? Well, I'll see for myself the next time I see him."_ – She flipped through some more pages and froze: _"...WE KISSED TONIGHT!!! He came for dinner, and I took him to pool house after. We went for a swim. He took his shirt off, and I must say: he's body is gorgious!..."- _

_"OK, first his eyes, now his body?! _"– Max thought. – _"I don't need to know that much!"_- but she kept reading:

"..._We were standing close to one another, and I asked him, does he like me. He was a little surprised, but he said he liked me! And, than, we kissed. Well, I kissed him... It was so sweet. His lips were so soft, like they haven't kissed before..."_- Max looked at those words: "haven't kissed before_". "Oh, Rachel, if you only knew." _– She remembered her first kiss. It was with some guy when she was in heat. Didn't mean anything. But she knew this was different. His first kiss meant something. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine how he felt at that moment. Subconsciously, she licked her own lips. She could almost see Alec kissing, but she didn't see Rachel as the girl who he was kissing. She saw herself. She suddenly opened her eyes, feeling very strange. Water around her felt warmer, and her hands were trembling. Something shifted inside her, and she knew she has gone too far. _"Oh, God, what I'm doing? What was I thinking? I don't need to know about my friends' body." _– she wanted to close the journal, forget everything, but Rachel's words kept calling her. So she opened the journal again:

_"...I told him I loved him today. He was trembeling...I honestly don't know how he got under my skin like that. When he holds me, he clings to me, like it's the last time he would do so. When he kisses me, his lips move, like they will never kiss again. He makes me feel special..."_

Max closed the journal sighing, gently running her hand across that soft leather skin. Alec was experiencing something special with Rachel. Something he shouldn't, not at that time. But, she respected him for that. She saw the person inside him now, she saw more. Rachel made him feel, and with her gone, he will close himself behind his 494 mask. She got out of the tub, dried herself, and got dressed. She was still a little upset, because of her experience in the tub. She sighed, took her jacket and headed out.

"_I need a drink"_ – she thought. – _"Today was more than I can handle. And I will call Logan later."_

She got out of the apartment, not realizing that a letter fell from Rachel's journal, and on it ,words were written: _"To Simon"_...

I hurried to update, so I hope you like it. Review to help! Kiss, kiss


	4. Deciding the right thing

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction :)

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to hit first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now... A/M

To Starr Light1 – don't worry, this is TOTALLY going to be M/A story. I just have to keep thing interesting.

To ganstagrl452 – You have the right for your own opinion. This is my first story, so I'm just improvising as I go along.

To Katherine – I LOVED your review. You just keep on thinking out loud! :)

To ontheDL – thanks for your reviews, make suggestions if you want, love to hear them

And to lakergirl – thanks for your compliments. Keep on!

Well, here's chapter 4.

_Chapter 4 – Deciding the right thing_

Max entered Crash trying to find OC. She needed to apologize for her earlier outburst. But, instead of OC, she saw him. Alec was sitting at the bar, staring into his glass of whiskey. She could tell he was there for quite some time. She froze on the steps, not knowing should she face him or not. So,she stood on the steps for couple of seconds, took a long look at him, her face showing pain, than turned around and left.

"_I can't see him right now..."_ – she thought and headed out. She got out of the Crash, pushing some people aside on of her way out. There she was, great X5 soldier, and she was just plain scared.

"_What the hell is wrong with me?_ – she thought, appearing ridiculous even to herself. She leaned against the wall, dark hiding her features. She took a deep breathe, enjoying the way wind blew against her face. She closed her eyes, but Rachel's words kept haunting her. _"He told me liked me...we kissed...I told him I loved him...."_She kept thinking about his and Rachel's connection and wondered will Alec ever be able to get over her. She heard people talking, so she opened her eyes, and tried to decide what to do next. Should she go home, or should she head back to Crash. Instead, a thought occurred to her. _"I haven't seen Logan all day. And, maybe there was something important happening in the city. I could use some distraction. "_

So, she got on her motorcycle, and took the road toward Logan's house. She stepped into the building, but stopped on the front steps. _"What if he's not home, or what if Asha is there. I can't go through that now." _So, she decided to call first. All that prying today made her more careful. She took her cell phone and dialed Logan's number.

"Hello? – he said, his voice hoarse.

"Hi, it's me. Just checking in."

"Oh, Max, hey...I was worried about you. Haven't heard from you all day. – Logan said, trying to define what is that he hears in Maxes voice. – "You sound strange. Is everything OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, just....tired." – she sighed, wondering if should she tell him she's just a couple of floors away. – "What did you need before?"

"Before?...Oh, when I paged you. I need to talk to you about Alec. – he said.

Her heart skipped.

"Alec? What about Alec?" – it seemed as as much as she was trying to push him aside, his name just kept popping up.

"I saw him today and he didn't seem OK. Almost as he was ,well, crying." – Logan remembered that sight. Something he would swear he will never see.

Max just sighed and felt bad. She was to blame for that. Her scent must have triggered his memories.

"So...what do you need from me?"

"Well, I thought maybe you could talk to him. I mean, we still need him on our side, and I'm afraid that all this what's happening could have some negative effect on him. He's still not adjusted to the real world enough."

"_Great. Now he wants me to talk to him, and all I want to do is avoid him..."_ – she thought.

"Well, I could talk to him, but I don't know what good will that do. You know we're not like best budds. I don't think it's the best idea for me to meddle in Alec's life, you know?" – Max started to stammer.

Logan took off his glasses, wondering what got into her. Sure, she and Alec didn't always find same ways, but she saved his life just days before. And he was always there for her. Even at Manticore.

"Well, maybe you could at least try?" – he said simply.

"Ahm....yeah, sure, I'll see what I could do." – she mumbled, deciding she's not going to tell him that she's in the building.

"Are you sure you're OK? You seem funny. You want me to come over?" – Logan asked, hoping she would say yes. Sure, he couldn't touch her, but he still loved the sight of her big brown eyes, and the way she looked at him.

"You know what, I think I will just call it a night and go to bed. Is that OK? I will visit you tomorrow." – she started to finish their conversation.

"Oh... OK, than, see you tomorrow, I guess. – he said disappointedly, but she already hung the phone.

"_Something s wrong with her - _Logan thought. He looked at his watch, idea occurring to him. "_It's just 10 PM, and she doesn't even need sleep. I'll better go over there_."- he concluded and stood up trying to find the car keys.

Max hung up the phone before she could hear Logan's last words. But that conversation got weirder by the second for her. _"Why is he pushing me to talk to Alec about his problems? Like it's not enough that I know them already... all of them... "_ She sat on her ride, still thinking should she go back to Logan or back to Crash. She thought of Alec's sad look while he was sitting at the bar. _"Maybe he really needs help...maybe I can help him."._

Her look got serious. With one move she started her motorcycle and headed off.

"_I'm going back."_

Alec sat at the bar drinking for at least two hours, but drink didn't have any effect on him. He was feeling specially alone tonight. He started to drink still thinking about Rachel, but also about Max. She can understand him. She's a Manticore product as well. She knows what he is and she treats him that way. But now she saw a different side of him. He was afraid he was going to lose her respect. And that mattered to him. His senses were still sharp,even after two hours drinking, so he could feel when Max entered the bar the first time, but he just prescribed it to his DNA.He thought she will come to him, but instead she left. _"She probably took one look at poor me, and took off. Well, can't blame her. Nobody wants to be around miserable people."_

While sitting there a couple of girls tried to get his attention, but he just bought them a drink and sent them on their way. He wasn't in the mood for company, or at least not that one. He took his cell phone out of his jacket, trying to decide should he call Max. But decided against. While he was there staring at the little screen, his senses sharpened.

"_She's back."_

Sooooo? Did you like it? Did you hate it? Anyways, I want to know. By the way, I already wrote 2 more very interesting chapters, but I want to hear how you liked this one first.

Kiss, kiss


	5. Letters and friends

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to hit first love and that chainged him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now... A/M

To ontheDL – Don't worry, I will try to get old Alec back! But, he's still in pain, since it only passed a few days since his experience with Rachel. But, keep reading and reviewing OF COURSE! This means much to me!

To Aur – I'm glad you loved my last chapters. I hope you will keep reviewing. Goodluck with your school. Yap, I still remember how boring it was.

To Katherine – Since I figured you know what will happen with a letter, I will delay that moment for a little bit. :) Or at least it's final moment. If you have some suggestions, write on my e-mail, so that can be a secret. I would love to hear them. Thanks.

To Bruna Le Fey – It was not my intention to torture anyone (not much, anyway), but I just wanted to keep things interesting, you know, cliffhangers at all. I hope you still like it. And my new chapter as well. I want to know about it, soooo review again!

To Lakergirl - I wouldn't put in any better than you. Exactly what I'm thinking, but still getting there.

Well, on with chapter 5!

Chapter 5 – Letters and friends 

Max entered Crash for the second time that night. She looked at the bar glad to realize that Alec was still there. It looked like he hadn't move an inch. Slowly, she headed toward him, trying to think up something to say. Normally, she never had trouble making conversations, but tonight was different. He was no longer the same Alec she knew, that everyone knew. Or at least she didn't see him like that anymore. Like he was a prey, she slowly started to approach him, as if he will notice her, he'd diseppear. But than, she heard someone calling her name.

Startled, she turned around, and saw OC with some girl sitting at the table, drinking beer, and appearing to have a good time. She took one last look at Alec before heading up to OC.

"Hej, OC, what's up?"

"Hey,boo. Meet my friend Leila." – OC said pointing at the girl next to her.

"Hi, Leila, nice to meet you. – Max shook Leila's hand, and turned back to OC. – "Look, I just wanted to apologize for my behavior today. I didn't mean to yell at you. It was just... one of those days, you know? Promise I will tell you later about it."

"One of those days, huh? Not in heat again, I hope?" – OC winked at Max, which confused Leila.

"No, no,no. No heat... just life itself." – she sighed.

"Well, good than. I was beginning to think I will have to lock you in the house again. – OC laughed. – "OK, boo, you'll tell me later. Oh, just not tonight. – she winked at her again. – "I'm staying at Leila's tonight."

"Yeah, no problem." – Max said smiling at OC. Suddenly she felt kind of lonely. OC had someone, and was happy. She couldn't go over to Logan's 'cause that would only make her feel even worse.

"See you later, than. I'm going to see if Alec wants some company." – Max said pointing at Alec.

"I wouldn't count on than. He seems funny the entire night. I asked him to join me and Leila before, but he refused. Said something about...needed to be on his own. First time I saw him refusing two girls, despite they're gay"– OC just shrugged.

Max looked at Alec with determined look in her eyes.

"Yeah, well, I'm gonna go over. See you guys later." – she said and left for the bar. While she was getting closer she felt pensive. She was almost petrified. _"OK, heart, calm down, he doesn't know about the journal. He doesn't have to know. Be cool."_

Alec felt her approching, hair rising on the back of his neck, but didn't even look up when she sat beside him.

"Hey, Maxie" – he said still not rising his eyes from his drink. – "Care to join?"

First she was looking at him not knowing if he even wanted her there, but than he spoke. Not looking at her, but still.

"_How the hell did he know it was me"_ – she wondered.

"Yeah, what the hell?! Day was a big mess..." - she sighed thinking about everything that happened; first her braking into Berrisford mansion, spilling Rachel's perfume all over her which affected Alec, than finally reading Rachel's journal. She took off her jacket and ordered her drink. She took a sip, than turned to him, but didn't know what to say. They were quiet for a few minutes, but than Max spoke.

"Shouldn't you be on your double date with those blonds?"

He smiled.

"Nah, I decided Sketchy should have some fun. It's not fair that everytime we go out girls stare at me and my gorgious body and he leaves with nothing." May just rolled her eyes, but remembered Rachels words about Alec's body as well and felt strange. She couldn't resist looking up and down , checking him out. _"Well, OK, he is a strong man...I can see that even with his clothes on..."_- she felt warmth rising to her cheecks. She quickly looked away, grabbed her drink and drank it all shivering, _"I shouldn't be thinking about him like that. He's a friend."_

Alec felt her eyes slowly moving across his body. Was she checking him out?

"What Maxie? Like what you see?" – he said smirking as he looked at her for the first time that evening. He stopped: _"Was she blushing? Couldn't have...Nah, probably just the light."_

Max just looked away, trying to regain focus. She sighed, and not been able to find right words to justifie herself, she just smacked him on his shoulders. Like she did many times before. It was like a habbit.

"Shut up! And for the record, I wasn't checking YOU out, I was checking....hm...your warddrobe." – _"God, I really suck at this!"_ – she thought not believing he accually caught her watching him.

"My warddrobe? Really? I never took as a fashion freak." – he smirked at her not believing a word she said, but he didn't want to make her mad, or she will really kick his ass.

Or, worse, she could leave...

"Yeah,well, you learn something new every day." – she quickly responded wishing they could change the subject. – "Where's that bartender? I need another drink. Hey, you! – she waved to bartender.

"_She's really nervous. I wonder what's that about. I guess I shouldn't wonder... I knew she will never see me the same again. She must thinks I'm weak, and doesn't know how to act around me now. I guess our relationship will never be the same after last day. It will be just work."_ – Alec thought while bartender poured them another drink. He raised his glass at her, asking:

"Shall we drink for something?"

Max raised her glass at him, finally regaining her posture.

"Sure. What shall we drink for?"

He thought for a second remembering his recent conclution.

"To...a...buisness partners!"

She took a long look in his eyes, frowning a bit, not knowing from where his words were coming. But she didn't like them. At all._ "Buisness partners?"_ – she thought. – _"He thinks of me as a buisness partner?!"_ That made her , not mad, as much as disappointed and sad. But she saw his sadness as well.

He was starting to lift his glass to his lips, but her hand stopped him.

She placed her hand gently on his, letting it rest there.Than said quitly, looking directly at him, almost as she was trying to convince him.

"To friends."

He looked at her hand, than in her eyes, while breathing heavily. He felt true closeness with her now, maybe for the first time since they've met. He smiled a little and nodded.

"To friends."

Logan started his car still thinking about his recent conversation with Max. She was acting strange and he could tell something was bothering her. He missed her today, since she didn't come to see him. She didn't even responded to his call immediately. And that was not common. Normally, she would never miss as opportunity to see him. And than she rejected his proposition to come over.

"_She won't mind me coming over there."_ – he thought as he headed toward Max's appartment.

He got out of his car, looking up to see that all the lights in Max's flat was down. _"Maybe, she was really tired. Although she doesn't need that much sleep..."_

He headed upstairs, thinking what excuse will he come up with. _"I'll just tell her that I was in the neighbourghood...yeah, right, that's conclusive...I'll just tell her I got a tip on some weird actions in town. Yeah, that would work."_ - Thinking that, he was already at the door. He took a deep breath and knocked. There was no answer. _"She must be tight asleep. Maybe she's sick."_ He knocked again, but still no response. He took his keys out of his pocket, remembering he had a key to her appartment. He couldn't believe he was ready to break in, but, he just wanted to see her, to make sure she's alright. She can yell at him, but he still won't mind. So, he put his key in the lock, slowly turning it, and opened the door. They made a little sound, but he still didn't hear anything from inside. _"There's no way she didn't hear that."_ – he thought now worried. He entered inside, closing behind. He was trying to find the lamp in the dark, but bumped into some objects on the way. Finally, he found it and switched it on. He looked around seeing that no one was home. _"Where is she? And where's OC for that matter?"_ – he sat down on the couch thinking how he must look pathetic. – _"She's probably out with her friend, and I'm here like a lunatic in the middle of the night breaking in. Nice one, Cale."- _He ran his hands through his hair, beginning to stand up. But, than his eyes caught something on the floor. _"What's that? A letter?"_. He picked it up, and saw it was adressed _To Simon_. Since it wasn't sealed, he opened it, feeling a pinch of jealousy. _"Who the hell is Simon?"_ When he opened it, he saw that this wasn't Max's handwritting, and felt relieved. But, when he saw the signature, he realized for who this letter was. It was signed with: _Love, Rachel_.

He didn't want to read the letter so he just placed it back in the envelope. _"What's Max doing with Alec's letter?"_ – he thought. He sniffed it a little and relized it was sprayed with some sweet perfume. He smiled and wondered how would it be to smell something like this on Max. Not knowing should he just leave the letter where he found it, he began pacing through the living room. _"Maybe Alec came here for something and dropped this accidentely. Yeah, that's probably it. And he probably wouldn't want Max to see it... I will just give it back to him tomorrow."_

With that thought, he headed toward exit, but relized he didn't turn off the lights. As he was turning them off, he couldn't help but wonder:

"_Where are they?"_

And with that, he was gone.

Well, I hope you liked it. There is a lot more to come. Will Logan return the letter to Alec? What will happen in the bar? Wait to see......and review


	6. Why are you here?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to hit first love and that chainged him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now... A/M

Thanks to: RR Love, Bruna Le Fay, A.K.A. – Annabelle, Aur, Ting,

To ONTHEDL – Thanks for everything! Actually, I think awkwardness between them will change. Especially, when Alec find out about everything. What about your update?

To BRETTS-GIRL – It only passed a few days since Rachel died, so you have to understand why Alec is still vulnerable. I like to write a story taking it slowly, so this all happens in the same day.

To KATHERINE – Well, I was very glad to see your review and to realize that you didn't guessed everything! :) It wouldn't be very flattering if I was so predictable. I hope you like this one!

To LAKERGIRL08 – Hmm, why didn't Logan leave the letter there. He doesn't like the fact that Max is beginning to open up to Alec, because he was the one who had that job. Keep reviewing!

_Chapter 6 – Why are you here?_

Logan walked down the stairs still thinking about where Max was. And what is with this letter he found? It appeared to him that it was indeed from Rachel to Alec, or his alias, Simon, that is. He didn't understand, though, how did Alec leave it there. It was a very important thing. And why hasn't he come back for it when he realized it was gone? His mind was racing, so he didn't see OC heading toward him.

"Hey,boo, what's with you? Can't say hello to your friend here? – she said, slightly startling him.

Logan looked up expecting to see Max standing next to her, but instead he saw just some girl.

"Hey, OC! I was just...ahm...there was some action in the city...- he started to ramble, and OC was just looking at him with her hands on her hips. He stopped and just sighed.

"I was checking on Max..."

OC just smiled.

"And how's my girl? OK? She was kind of strange before. As a matter of fact I was not supposed to be home tonight, but Leila's roommate came home earlier. I hope Max won't mind. Oh, by the way! Logan this is Leila. Leila this is Max's "good" friend Logan. – OC started to ramble.

"Hi, Leila." – Logan just said quietly than looked back at OC. – "Max isn't at home actually."

"What do you mean she's not home? She didn't say anything about not coming home,boo. Or I didn't hear her..." – OC said trying to remember if she didn't forget Max really saying that. – "I saw her at Crash before. She met Alec there. And he was quite rood to me, as a matter of fact. Seriously, I don't know what's with the boy....- OC went on and on thinking out loud, but than stopped when she saw Logan's face stiff as he grasped his jacked pocket where the letter was.

"Ahm...look, she was just keeping him company. He really is in a shitty mood lately. Must be some transgenic thing." – She explained.

"_And who knows better about transgenic problems than Max."_ – Logan thought. He was starting to realize that he can't be for Max what Alec can, what Joshua can. They are all the same. Each still trying to adjust to the real world in their own way. Although they didn't belong among real people. He knew that was the truth, but still wasn't able to except that. He looked up at OC who was now looking at him wondering what's happening between her girl and Logan.

"No, no, it's OK. No need to cover for her. I'm sure she's OK." – Logan said. Things were getting weirder, but he didn't want to say anything to OC. Because it appeared she doesn't know anything.

"Yeah, she's probably just taking a ride on her baby. You know how she's into that." – OC tried to comfort Logan, who was now way into his thoughts.

"Yeah..." – he said unfocused. – "Look, it's late. I'm gonna go home. Goodnight. And Leila, it was nice to meet you." – he shook her hand and headed toward his car.

OC watched as he was leaving, and Leila gently touched her arm and said:

"Well, OC, your friends are really unique."

"Oh, you don't know the half of it,boo." –OC responded still watching after Logan as he took off. Than she smiled at Leila, took her by the hand, and they headed inside.

Logan began to drive, but than parked his car by the road. He was trying to decide should he indeed go home. Instead, he took the letter out of his pocket, looked at it and decided.

"_Crash should be open still. Maybe, I will get a drink." - _And with that thought he started his car, and in a second he was on his way to Crash.

Max and Alec were sitting next to each other, each in their own thoughts.

"_What just happened there?_" – Alec wondered. – _"Why is she being so friendly all of the sudden? And what's with "checking the wardrobe" speech? If I didn't know that was really her, I would think Manticore got her a twin. And a nice one! Although a little perplexed. But, it looks as this Max won't kick my ass with the next occasion that comes along. But, I still won't press my luck,or occasion will come sooner that I thought. I still don't know what got into her,though. With a second that can be gone. And, why the hell, am I thinking about it so much?! Come on, Alec, relax, take a drink... I only wish it had effect on me..."_ - he sighed – _"Well, maybe, that's for the better. It would be no good if I saw two Max sitting beside me...She's sitting beside me. Really close actually..."_ – He looked at her a little with a corner of his eye, only now appreciating her closeness. She was looking at her drink appearing to be deeply in thoughts as well. – _"She really is beautiful. I can see why Logan's so into her. But, she shouldn't be with him. It's not natural for us to interfere with normal people romantically. Not no mention, healthy. "_ – He remembered Rachel. – _"I was not supposed to fall in love with her. And now she's dead because of me. Max could kill Logan as well. And that would kill her inside. I know that. She loves him too much..."_

Max stared at her drink, also thinking about everything that was happening. _"How can things change in a second? Only a few days before, I was living my own life, I was not interfering in somebody else's problems...Well, OK, I was, but they deserved it. Alec didn't deserve this. Sure, he can be enjoying, he can really piss me off in a second, in a cent actually, but that's just him...I can rely on that. – _she smiled at the thought a little, but than frowned again_. – "Huh, Logan could never do that. And that's a good thing, I guess...I love him. I do..." – her thoughts went somewhere she would swear that would never happen. – "Logan is a good man. He's nice to me, he saves people as well as transgenics. He was always there for me. And he still is. Even with this whole virus thing. But, he can't understand some things. And it seems there are always way too many problems between us. Not to mention little fact that I could kill him with a simple touch...How normal is that?! Well, not that I'm normal, but, almost as if it wasn't meant to be, like God didn't want us together... Maybe, it's not destined to be. Could I handle that?"_ – she thought not liking her inner answer. – _"...I think I could..."_

She didn't realize that Alec was watching her. She rouse only when she heard him talking to a bartender.

"What do you mean you need to close early, Sid? We're just beginning to have fun!"

"What's going on? – Max asked curiously.

"Well, Sid here wants us gone! Apparently, he finally found some chick who can stand him, so he wants to go home early." – Alec responded not too happy. He was in no mood to go home. Although, he was just sitting and drinking. But he liked the company.

"Look, man, I really need to get going. Look around, there's no one else here, and I've seen you drink before. You can handle your liqueur, so that means I can be here till morning. – Sid responded already anxious.

Max thought of an idea and decided she should interfere. She coughed a little and got Sid's attention.

"Hey, Sid! – she said sweetly, gently smiling at him as she was leaning a little bit forward_. "What's good with her being seductive as a cat, if she can't use it."_ – she thought. So she arched her back getting even closer to Sid. Alec looked at her taken aback with his eyes wide open.

"Why are we making such a big deal out of everything? How about you give us another 2 bottles of your whiskey, lock the rest and leave? We'll close after you, and than we'll just let ourselves out. We'll lock the door, and leave you the key under that big barrel outside." – She was now barely inches away from Sid's face, almost hearing him gulp. Alec didn't say a word. He just sat there with an amused look on his face. But, he had to admit, this seductive Max had an impact on him as well...

"Well...- Sid mumbled. – "I guess I could do that. It's not like I don't know you..."

"Of course you know us!" – Max shrieked – "You can trust us... "- she was now playing with Sids hair – "So, what do you say? Do we have a deal?"

Sid swallowed, than looked at Alec who just shrugged at him. _"Max really is a vamp, when she's not threatening me." _– Alec thought.

"What the hell!" – Sid said surrendering. – "Here are the keys. Just lock behind yourselves two times." – He took off his apron, got his jacket and handed keys over to Max.

"You don't have to worry about anything." – she said while gently pushing him toward the front door. She gave him a little kiss on his cheek, before she almost pushed him outside. – "Bye, Sid!"

He didn't even have the time to wave goodbye to Alec, who was quite amused by this new Max he was seeing. _"Well, at least I'm not thinking about Rachel."_ – he thought.

Everyone was gone already, so Max locked the door after Sid left. She was now standing on the stairs, looking down at Alec who was still watching her. She shivered by the thought of them being here alone, and as well from his stare. _"His eyes really are hypnotizing."_ – she thought. She slowly started to come down the stairs, not taking her eyes from Alec's's. Almost as if they were glued to each other. She swallowed when she approached him. He finally looked away, inhaling, as he started to pour them another drink. This was getting way to intense for him. He was thinking about this scene that just appeared in front of him, and he bursted out laughing. Max sat beside him, looking him astonished.

"What?!" – she asked.

"What the hell was that?!?" – he asked still laughing hard. – "I thought you were going to break your spine from arching across the bar. Poor Sid..." – he shook his head while taking another sip.

"Shut up! – she slapped him on his arm, making him spill his drink. – "We're still here, aren't we? Anyway, it's one positive way to use my feline DNA."

He was just looking at her trying to dry himself a bit. He could get use to this new Max. Since his glass was empty, he started to pour himself another shot thinking should he ask the question that has been dancing in his mind the entire night.

"Why did you do it? – he asked – "Not that I mind you using your...well...assets on Sid..."- he didn't manage to finish his sentence, cause that remark earned him another slap which caused another accident involving his drink and his shirt. Max was trying so hard not to burst out laughing, but she couldn't. She started to apologize, trying to wipe him off.

"I'm soooo sorry, Alec! Really! – but she was laughing so hard, her apology not sounding very sincere.

"Great, Max, now my whole shirt is wet! If you wanted to see me without my clothes, you should've just asked. I would gladly fulfill your desires." – he joked looking at his shirt. He excepted another slap from her, but all he got was her silence. She looked him in the eyes, but looked down as soon his stare met hers. Her eyes were just fixated on his wet shirt. He grew more serious too.

"So?" – he asked.

"So what? – she returned not knowing what he means.

"Well, there are better ways to spend your night. – Alec said seriously. – "Why are you here with me?"

Soo? Like it? Still a little bit stiff? I was thinking how that situation should be weird for everyone. You know what I mean;something happens, and you change your mind about someone, but he doesn't know that. All you have is a whole bunch of questions. I was trying to bring some of that feelings here. I hope you liked it.


	7. Make me free

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to hit first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now... A/M

To ONTHEDL – Thanx again for your review! It really means a lot to me! I hope you liked this chapter. I was trying to get everything in it.

To KATHERINE – OK, first, I LOVED your review! Thanks a lot! I hope you'll find a few powerful moments in this chapter as well.

To Starr Light1 – I wasn't planning to be mean...It sort of popped up! Hope this won't disappoint you...:)

To MARSALI & KIM – Thanks for your reviews! Means a lot to me!

To A.K.A. Annabelle – I hope you'll find this chapter satisfying.

To THE CAT – I'm glad you decided to visit. Hope you liked the part with Alecs shirt. Trust me there will be a lot of moments with him taking his shirt off in the future. :)

On with Chapter 7!!!

Chapter 7 – Make me free... 

Max didn't manage to find the strengh to look Alec in the eyes. Inside her lay the feeling like he will see right through her. She could feel his eyes trying to reach hers, but she just kept staring at his wet shirt, still trying to dry it off with her hands. She was so confused. With her feelings as well as his question. She also didn't has the answer to it. And that scared her. Her heart was beating hard, but she tried to find the inner strengh to look up and meet his stare, which got more penetrating with each second that went bye.

He, on the other hand, didn't understand sudden silence that possessed her.

"_Why is she so quiet? What's wrong with her? Can I help? Does she want me to help..."_ – thousand thoughts ran through his head. – _"And the closeness... oh, my God, the closeness. It's almost paralyzing. Come on, Alec, reach her, like she reached you..."_

He needed to know the answer to the question why is she there with him... With him... There was no one before when he was in pain, when he needed comfort and now, there was her, making him feel better with just keeping him company. Her presence made him feel safe, and tonight when he saw her other side he felt even more touched. Her presence touched him. Her laughter touched him. And he hasn't seen her true laughter before. So he needed to know what happened. He needed to know that she won't go away...There was a difference in her behavior. Before he could only feel her meddling. It appeared to him that she was pretending to care only cause she felt it was her duty, like that was her mission here because she was longer in this outside world.

Not been able to reach her eyes, he reached her hands which were resting on his.

"Max?" – he gently said.

"I needed a friend." – she quickly said removing her hand from his in a second. And that was it. Not another word. He didn't want to push her, so he just kept looking at her. He was trying to see what was lying beneath her words. Was there a trick? But all he saw was some confusion and some pain as well.

"Well, you have him. "– he simply said, his hands trying to find hers, like he was trying to convince her. He touched her again, but than he was the one who removed his hands like something hit him. Things were beginning to change. Like those people in there, weren't them. The ones that entered the Crash that evening didn't exist anymore...

Max watched as he put his hands on hers again, feeling shivers going from her fingers, through her arms, and right into her heart. But than the feeling went away. She didn't want to make a big deal out of it, so she just said:

"Thanks....Ahm...I'm gonna hit the ladies room." – she needed some time alone.

She got up from the chair, heading toward the bathroom. When she got in, she closed the door behind her, approached the sink and just stared at her appearance in the mirror. She could see that she looked drained out, so she washed her face, trying to ease up a bit. But, thoughts kept rushing in her head. She leaned on the sink, letting hair fall on her face.

"_What's happening to me?"_ – she asked herself. – _"Why can't I just act normal around him? He's not stupid! Sooner or later he will find out something is off. He knows me. He knows how I usually treat him, and soon he will start to ask some questions. Serious questions, that is... But, I can't go back to where we were before I read Rachel's journal. Before I saw him at her dying bed, crying..." _– she remembered that night, and she felt his pain inside her.

"_He was so crushed, he still must be crushed...But I shouldn't be lying to him. He deserves to know the truth...about everything. I'll tell him. Now. "_ – she looked at herself with determination, but that look stayed there only for a second. Another thought went through her.

"_He will me hate for it..."_

She could almost see his reaction, anger in his eyes instead of the soft, gentle look that he gave her tonight. But there was something in her head that kept telling her that she shouldn't be keeping the truth from him.

"Maybe someday he will find the strengh to forgive me. Maybe he will be able to let go. But, for that I have to be honest with him. I've got to be honest."

She looked at her features in the mirror for the last time, before she headed outside to meet her destiny. She was almost trembling as she opened the door and got outside. She was trying to find him with her eyes, but suddenly she stood on her tracks. Determination vanished from her face and deeper feelings appeared.

Alec sat on his chair for a minute or so before getting up. He was too nervous to sit still, and not to mention wet. He looked around and in the corner he saw some old coat hanger, and on it hung someones black shirt. It appeared to be his size, so he took off his wet shirt, and dried himself with it. He put the shirt on, unconsciously lifting the collar up so his bar code wouldn't show. It was a little bit small around his waist, so he didn't button it up. He got back to the bar, took his drink and looked around. Crash looked different when there was no usual crowd inside. He started to walk around and suddenly his eyes fell on something familiar. He never noticed before, but there was a piano in the corner of the Crash, the uttermost part. He walked over gently running his fingers across it's features. His memories started to rush again, but he accepted them as he sat down. He put his drink aside as he inhaled deeply. He wanted to play, but his fingers were numb. He stared at them thinking how that can be. He closed his eyes, but image of Rachel kept haunting him. He wanted to play, he needed to play so he could face his past in u true way. He needed to say goodbye...

Max was looking at him while he was staring at his hands, feeling his pain. But there was another pain present. And that was her pain. Inside her. She knew why is he like that, because of who is he like that, and she felt helpless.

"_His mind is focused only on Rachel and I can't do nothing about that. "_ – she thought sadly. She kept staring at him and his inner struggle, trying to decide what she should do.

"_Should I just leave him be? He wouldn't even notice me gone..." _

But, instead she took a deep breathe, and started to approach him. There was something inside her telling her that she shouldn't leave. The same thing that made her come back to Crash tonight. The same thing that awoke in her that night she saw his true side. The same thing she once felt for Logan...the same thing she would never admit. Not even to herself, and especially not to Alec.

She stood beside him, not saying a word. And he just kept staring at his hands.

"Is everything OK?" – she asked gently, not wanting to startle him. He slowly looked up at her, and without a word showed her that she can sit down beside him. Max sat down, not feeling very comfortable, and she realized he changed his shirt. His abs were showing and she kept glaring at them trying not to seem to obvious. Suddenly, Alec put his fingers on the piano keys, took a deep breath, and started to play. It was a soft melody, and Max was just watching his fingers move over the keys. He played beautiful, so she couldn't help but wonder wasn't that one of the songs he played for Rachel.

Like he knew what she was thinking, he said:

"I used to play this in Manticore, when no one was around. I had access to the music room, so I spent my time there. "

"Did you play a lot?" – she asked pretending not to know every single detail of his mission with Rachel.

"_I can't tell him now..."_ – she thought.

He stopped playing and looked up at her. It was like he was deciding whether to tell her or not.

"Yeah, I played a lot. I was pretending to be the great musician and the piano teacher when I met Rachel. That was my disguise." – he laughed bitterly, thinking how that disguise got him to act more like his true nature was.

She saw it was hard for him to talk about it, so she decided not to push it.

"Well, you play beautiful. You should do it more often." – she simply said. His eyes were thanking her for everything; not making him to talk about his past, and for being there.

"Well, Maxie, than this one is just for you!" – he smiled at her and started to play another soft melody, now more concentrated on his playing than on his memories. And that broke him free. He was amazed by that in a way. He played, and felt content about that.

Max listened to this song thinking how he must feel now. She thought his mind was focused only on Rachel, and she tried to accept that.

When he stopped playing, he looked at her, again piercing her eyes, and her soul.

"Did you like it?"

"Of course I did" – she said, but thinking – _"Rachel must have loved it too."_

"I'm glad, cause I just made it up." – he smiled and looked down. –

"It was for you." – he whispered.

Air suddenly got more thicker for both of them and made them hard to breathe. They were sitting next to each other, only their clothes touching, and yet, they both felt like they were melting in each other. But, not one of them wanted to move, not knowing what the reaction of the other will be.

Max looked down, feeling very confused. She wanted to touch him. Little voice inside her head kept telling her: _"Come on, Max, touch him... Take his hand in yours, intertwine his fingers with yours... Touch them. They just played you a song. Just for you. Thank him for that..." _

Alec kept looking at her, also too scared to move. He wanted to feel her even closer. She released him tonight. on, stroke her hair... You want to stroke her hair. What if she doesn't want that? What if she runs away? " – was his inner debate. He kept traversing over her face features; her dark brown hair, her dark brown eyes which had a certain sparkle tonight, her full lips...his observations stopped on her lips. They were so full, so tempting for him, but he knew he can't cross that line. Never mind the temptation.

He was too preoccupied by his observations, he didn't see her hand move. Her hand slowly started to move toward his, like he would brake if she would touch him. Pausing right before the touch she caught his eyes. His green eyes. That was the signal for her, that she should proceed. She gently laid her hand on his, and his look changed. Her fingers slowly intertwined with his, like the right key would fit into the right lock. His eyes never left hers. He felt her grip tighten like there was a possibility that he would run away. And he would never do that. To ensure her, he tightened his grip also.  
They never said a word, both scared that that will break their connection. Alec started to come closer, his eyes finding her lips again. Unconsciously, she licked them, inspiring Alec to come even closer.

But suddenly, loud noise startled them. It was the banging on the door.

"Max, are you in there? – voice said.

"Logan." – Max said as she broke the connection and her hands left Alecs's...

So? Like? Don't like? Let me know!!! Next chapter coming up soon. I promise! Review, make suggestions!


	8. Read me!

READ ME!

Hi everyone!I'm very sorry to say that the text you are about to read has not been written by Baby22,I'm one of her friends and my name is Nina.So the thing is that she is nowhere near a computer so u'll have to wait,I guess a great deal of time, for an update.About a week ago we went on a coctail party in place nearby and it turned out really bad for her;the guy who mixed all the drinks decided to make a show with fire(I'm not sure what the word for it is in english-he was 'spitting' fire,do u know what I mean???).Baby22 was standing to close to him and she got on fire.So now she is in hospital waiting to see how long will her treatment last and I can say she's holding up better than the most of us.We all wish that Max or Alec could have been there that night to save the day but................u know.She hopes she'll be back soon!Thanks for your patience,bye!


	9. I can hear you

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now... A/M

Well, I'm back! Finally! I want to thank everyone who reviewed my last chapter (even the one about my fire accident)! I hope you will stay tuned for the rest of this story, because I'm not giving up on her! And there it is! Finally, chapter 8!

Chapter 8 – I can hear you...

Logan was driving very fast just so he could reach his destination as soon as possible. When he parked outside the Crash he saw Max's motorcycle in front. He felt a little relieved by that, seeing that he finally found her. But than his eyes caught someone elses bike, it was Alec's...

"_Looks like they are still here. Good, I would hate to miss a party."_ – Logan thought, his jeaulousy rising.

He got out of the car, trying to hear some noise coming from Crash, but there weren's any. He has gotten closer, but still no sound came through that door.

He was thinking how he must looks pathetic. First he was lurking in front of Max's door, and now he's lurking here, but he needed to know where Max is. And who she is with. Normally, he wouldn't give a damn if she was with Alec alone, but something changed. And he could feel that. Their conversation before about Alec gave him that idea. Max was confused and he could tell. He put his hand in his pockets feeling Rachels letter. He took it out thinking how he could just leave it on Alec's bike, but he decided against.

"_The wind could blew it away. No, I have to give him the letter face to face. It's way to important. And, I have to see his face..."_

He tried to open the door, but they were locked.

"_Strange..."_ – he thought. – _"OK, their bikes are here, so they have to be here. But, why is it locked? There has to be other people inside..."_

His mind was racing while he was trying to figure out what to do.

He couldn't just leave, although that would be the easiest and probably the least painful decision. He needed to get in there. He needed to know what was going on. There was enough guessing, he needed to know the truth. There were lots of question he needed anwer to. What was Rachels letter doing in Max's apartment? Why did Max lie to him about where she was? Why was she here? With Alec..?

He tried the lock again but no use.

He decided to call her by name. She could hear him. Well, so could Alec, but that was not the point at this time. There was no one around, so he yelled:

"Max? Are you in there?

Max heared a familiar voice coming from outside and she got scared. She removed her hand from Alec's breaking their connection.

Alec watched as her hand left his, warmth desepearing as she whispered Logans name. There was no words to describe his pain. Instant pain in his heart. Another mans voice touched her enough to break their moment. Nothing that happened there wasn't enough for her to forget Logan. Nothing he did wasn't enough.

"_No one can do nothing. Her heart will always belong to Logan." _– he thought. – _"I can't aloud myself to get too attached to her. She could break me. She could do that. Rachel broke me once, but she didn't know the real me. Max knows me and she can finish me off." _

He put his "not caring" mask on, his stone face in place. Another bang at the door startled them both.

Max just sit there, her eyes locked at the door.

"_That is Logans voice, isn't it? I'm not imagining it.....aren't I? Why do I hear him? Why is he here? Why don't I want him here....?_ – her thoughts were racing in her head. But than she heard another voice, the one she listened the entire night...

"Well?" – Alec calmly asked.

She was still prosessing everything, so she didn't hear him at first.

"Max?" – he repeated.

"What?" – she asked feeling confused.

"Well...aren't you gonna let your boy in?" – he asked trying to sound as cool as possible.

"Let him in..." – Max whispered. – _"I don't want to let him in..."_ – she was thinking slowly coming to a realization. But Alec's next remark stopped that. Painfully.

"You don't want to leave your loverboy standing outside too long. He could catch a cold or worse, he could think something is wrong. You know, he must've seen both our bikes out there, and now the door is locked...poor old man could get some weird ideas. You know, like something is going on..." – he stopped for a second, taking a deep breath. – "And there isn't." – he quietly finished putting his smirk on.

That was a mask and he knew it. He was a big liar, but he needed to save his heart. He needed to be in control. He needed to lie once again...

Max looked up at him, meeting his cold eyes. They were getting darker with each second, still trying to remain their coldness. She kept watching him, waiting to see if something will change, if his eyes will change. All she needed was one small glow, one small sign that she didn't imagine the entire night, but nothing changed. Alec kept looking at her and her anticipation, but hasn't said a word. That was a horrifying moment for him. Her eyes piercing his, and he needed to play cool. He needed to act as a soldier once more.

Another bang and a sound followed:

"Max, are you in there?"

Alec broke their eye connection and slowly stood up. He looked down at her and simply said:

"Well, let's let him in." – he smiled ad headed toward the door.

Max watched him go up the stairs while she headed toward the bar where her drink was. She needed it quickly.

Alec took his time climbing the stairs, like the man standing on the other side is some awful enemy that will hurt him. And, in some way, he was exactly that.

He slowly unlocked the door, letting air in. He shivered from the cold, since the only thing he had on was that little shirt he found. The other reason for shivering was Max's absence.

"Well, well, well, look what the cat draged in." – Alec smiled at Logan, thinking how that remark sounds very strange coming from his mouth. – "Come in, come in. Your girl is down at the bar." – he said moving aside so Logan could come in.

Logan looked at him thinking what is going on in there.

"Alec" – he just said as he got in. – "What's with your shirt?" – he tried to sound as unconserned as possible.

"My shirt?" – Alec looked down figuring out that he isn't totally dressed. But he just laughed. – "Well, Maxie, here, spilled her drink on me. Twice. No... Actually, she spilled _my_ drink on me twice. She is too smart to spill her own..." – Alec started to babble, while Logan tried to find Max with his eyes. He saw her sitting at the bar holding her glass, staring ahead. She didn't even look up as he started to come down the stairs. And Alec kept babbling:

"...and see, that is how I ended up without my shirt. And it was one of my favorite shirts. Nor fair, I'm telling you!" – he was surprised by himself how he could talk nonsense for a long time. But those were just words.

Both of the man got to the bar close to Max, each with their own thoughts. She still didn't move.

"Max?" – Logan said wondering what's wrong with her. And if she had some problems, why hasn't she come to him.

Max sighed as she looked up at both of the men.

"What's up?"

"Ahm...I was trying to find you the entire night. I had some information about some activity in the sewers, and I wanted you to check it up." – he started to tell his "story".

That got her attention, because, buisness was always buisness.

"What kind of activity? Transgenics?"

"No....no....actually, I got a tip sbout some dumping area, and wanted to know if that's something interesting for us, but I think it's just trash. No need to worry..." – he stopped talking feeling very ridiculous.

"Oh...well, good than." – Max said feeling relieved that she didn't need to on some boring assignment.

Alec stood there watching this strange conversation between them, not been able to resist thinking how they act like two strangers who have nothing in common. His mind was full and he needed to go away.

"Look, guys, I think my shirt is dry, so I'll go to the bathroom and change."

He started to leave, but Logan called his name.

"Alec, remind me to give you something when you get back. "– he remembered the letter he found on the floor of Max's appartment. He got it out of his pocked and showed it to Alec.

Alec turned and only saw an envelope, but he didn't see words written on it.

"Yeah, if that's money, just hand it over." – he smiled, and Logan flinched. He hold up the envelope, but Alec didn't move. Something was strange, and he knew it. He decided to wait.

"It's not the money."

"Well, than it can wait. I'm freezing." – Alec said and headed to the bathroom.

When he was in no sight, Logan looked at Max. She was staring at him trying to see what's with the envelope.

"What's that?" – she asked.

"Hmm...it's a letter. For Alec, actually." – Logan simply said trying to see her reaction.

"A letter for Alec? Who, on earth would write Alec a letter?"

"Well, actually, it's not for Alec, as much as his alias, Simon."

Now it was Max's turn to flinch.

"Simon..."

Logan handed her the letter, not moving his eyes from her face.

She looked at the words written on it, and she recognized the handwriting. It was Rachel's handwriting.

She sat there for a second not saying a word, while Logan watched her. He could see she recognized the letter, what meant Alec had no clue about it.

She looked up.

"Where did you get it?"

Since it was no time to quibble, he simply said:

"I found it on the floor of your appartment when I was looking for you."

"My appartment? How did you get in? O.C.'s not home tonight." – she was getting angry, but not as much for Logan breaking into her appartment, as much for her own mistakes.

"Like I said, I was trying to find you. And you said you'll be home tonight. But, I think that is not the biggest problem we have here." – he said pointing at the letter.

"Ahm...the letter. The truth is, I don't know anything about Rachel's letter. But, I think I know how did it got there where you found it."

Logan didn't say a word. He let her continue...

In the meantime, Alec changed his shirt, feeling very comfortable now in his own clothes. He started to walk around the bathroom, hands running through his hair. He was nervous.

"_What's happening to me? I'm hiding in the bathroom! I'm not supposed to hide! And, I don't even know what I'm hiding from! I was always up to challenges! Face your problem and solve it. That's the rule. There's nothing about hiding in the bathroom! And what's with both of them?! Jesus, it's like they're buissness partners, and not love partners! This day is way too weird...Max is acting weird, Logan is acting weird, and now I'm acting weird. "_

He remembered what happened just minutes ago, he and Max sitting next to each other, she holding his hand. He felt instant warmth inside. He was starting to feel. First time after Rachel. And although she died just days ago, she was gone years ago. And he was holding on. Now that feeling was gone. He said goodbye, and he was ready to move on. He looked at the exit door, trying to figure out what to do when he gets out.

"_Fight for her or surrender?"_ – he wondered.

His soldier mode came through. And a soldier never gives up.

He approached the door, opened them quiatly, but than stood at his tracks.

He could hear Max speak. And he heard her say Rachels name.

Coldness entered his eyes once again...

Well, I hope you liked this chapter. I'm still trying to get in the right spirit. I was without my computer for 2 weeks, and I wanted to update as soon as possible. I will try to write another chapter really soon. (if another accident doesn't happens, that is ï)

Review, please, please!!!


	10. Do the right thing

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now... A/M

To Onthedl – I know you don't like Logan and I hope this will be more to your taste.

To Katherine – I'm glad you liked my last chapter and I hope you will like this one also. And I hope you will tell me! And by the way, I guess you noticed I have a little problem with grammar. So I wondered if you could leave me your e-mail address if I'll have some problems.(of course if you're better with it)

To Lakergirl08 – thanks for your review, hope you'll like this chapter despite of "everything".

To Luvspike/alec – thanks for your wishes and thank you for your review. Hope to hear from you again!

To SinDee – There, I repaired my mistakes. I wasn't paying attention to the summary, so I didn't notice the mistakes. Thanks for the tip.

Chapter 9 – Do the right thing

Alec leaned against the wall trying to regain his peace. He needed to hear what Max was saying, but all he wanted to do was to run away. Run away from everything. But, he stood there and listened. His enhanced hearing helped with that a lot.

"What do you mean you know how Rachel's letter got into your apartment? Max?" – Logan asked trying to remain as calm as possible. And he wasn't good at that, because his words sounded very harsh.

Max ignored the tone of his voice oher mind only focused on how the letter must've fallen from Rachel's diary. She was too preoccupied to read it and to hide the diary, she must've missed the letter.

"That's a long story..." – she started. – "You know how you told me I should get more interested in Alec's life and whatever was going on with him? Well, I did exactly that..."

"So this is my fault?" – Logan shrieked not even letting her finish. – "I can't believe you're blaming me..."

Max tried to remain cool, but his interruption pushed her over the edge.

"Shut up, Logan and let me finish! God! As I was saying. I did exactly that, ONLY..." – she said emphasizing the word "only" and than sighed – "I went too far. I went back to the Berrisford mansion, trying to find something that will help me understand what happened there two years ago or what was happening still, actually. So, I went there and got up to Rachel's room." – she stopped as she took the time to watch Logan's face change. His eyes were widened and his mouth slightly opened. But, he hasn't said a word. So she continued.

"So, I looked around trying to find something that can help me understand Alec's behavior. You know, what was exactly his assignment and what went wrong."

She suddenly stopped feeling someones eyes on her , but when she turned around there was no one there. She shook her head and continued.

"So, that's the whole story." – she tried to end this conversation thinking how Alec will come back soon, and she wasn't in the mood to explain to Logan how she stole Rachel's journal.

"Max?" – Logan started.

"Yeah?"

"I still don't understand one thing."

"What's that?" – she asked thinking how many questions Logan have. He was always the nosy one. But he had only one question. And that was the most important to him right now.

"Why all the trouble?"

She just glanced at him and than she lowered her stare to her hands. She needed to tell the truth...

Alec was still leaning against the wall, his mind racing. He was getting angrier by the minute. At Max, Logan and at himself as well. He was tricked once again.

"_I was right the first time. She had to know everything, so she did her little investigation. Good one, Maxie. Didn't think you have it in you. What am I saying? Of course you have it in you. You were always thinking how you're the smartest one, only cause you're longer in this world. I hate this world. Who needs to act normal when all that brings you is pain... I can't do this anymore."_ – he thought and decided he heard enough.

He got back to the bathroom, closed the door, forcing every sound to stay outside. He looked around, but he didn't have the energy to walk around like a cat. His strength left his body, so he just slided to the floor, his head hitting the wall. His pain was great, and he didn't know how to deal with it.He decided to wait for a couple of minutes before getting out. He needed to get his strength back. But he knew that would take a lot longer than just a few minutes...

Max kept staring at her hands, while Logan was trying to read her face. And he could do that. It was easy. Every person who could see Max's face could read her emotions right now. And she wasn't even trying to hide them.

"I see..." – Logan started.

Max looked up at him, seeing pain in his eyes. She knew he understood.

"Look, Logan...I'm sorry. It's just, everything that happened... I realize now that we don't have anything in common any more. I mean, look at us. We can't even touch! We can't hold hands. We can't kiss. I think that is the way someone telling us that we don't belong together. And I don't mean just you and I. I mean us in general. I am a transgenic, Logan, and as much as I'm trying to act like a normal, I will always be a girl with a barcode on her neck. And I can't escape from that." – she stopped for a second. – "And I don't want to escape from that. That is what I am." - she said accepting her existence.

Logan couldn't find arguments to dispute her. She was right and he knew it. As much as he's heart was telling him they belong together, him reason told him otherwise. He couldn't fight for her. She wasn't his to be in the first place. So, there was only one thing he could do...

He sighed.

"I know... You're right. I don't like it, but I know you're right."

Max was looking at him, bewildered. She expected a fight. She expected him to beg her like he did before. But, she saw he understands now. Her eyes were thanking him for that.

"But, I want you to know that I will always love you, Max." – Logan said.

"I know. And I will always love you in a way. You were my first true love." – she could feel her heart break. She was losing her first love and that was hard for her because that was something she was used to. Her life was changing rapidly and her heart needed to catch up.

"Well, before I go I have to do only one thing." – Logan said deciding it was time for him to go. He didn't have the strength to look in Alec's eyes right now.

"What's that?" – she asked confused and than she saw him holding up the letter. Her eyes were fixated on it, like she can bring it closer with her mental powers. Her entire future depended on that letter. Alec's past and her future. But, she didn't have to do anything.

Logan put the letter on the bar just leaving it there.

"I don't want to be the bad guy, Max. I don't want you with him, but, that's not my call. Only thing I want to say is that he needs to know the truth. You need to tell him everything. He deserves that much. Do the right thing, Max."

With that he turned around and headed toward the door not turning back until he reached the door. Two ex lovers looked at each other, both feeling pain. Pain that was always there, because they were ready to say goodbye long before. There were no longer "them". Logan opened the door, took a last glance at Max and than left into the night.

When the door was finally closed, Max reached for the letter. She read the words written on it once again, thinking about the words written with that same handwriting in the diary in her apartment. And than her thoughts went to the person they were addressed to. When she wanted to turn around to see if Alec was coming, his hand hold her by her shoulder making her drop the letter. She abruptly turned around meeting Alec's cold eyes once again.

"Is that for me?" – he asked calmly.

Well, that was it. My new chapter. Little short but still I hope you will tell me how you liked it!!! I know most of you don't like Logan, but I haven't had the heart to make him a true bad guy. He had it bad enough...

There's more coming soon!


	11. Goodbye

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now... A/M

To KATHERINE - I think your e-mail won't show because of the security. But, you can write me an e-mail. My mail is showing. And, thanks again for the review! And considering the letter, you will know everything in the next chapter which is already done.

To ONTHEDL - I wrote your bety a letter, but she didn't reply, so I posted this chapter like it is.

To WILLOW98002 - Don't worry, Alec will realize everything very soon.

To LUVSPIKE/ALEC - Thanks for your review! I agree, they do look great together! Hope to hear from you again.

To SGOU - It was time (in my imagination) for Max to let Logan go, so I'm glad that you agree. The letter - in the next chapter , and the whole one.

To The Pizzaman - I know what you mean about Logan. Who wouldn't feel sorry for him, he did lose his girl. And, unfortunatly, I don't have Alec of my own, but there is one guy who can fit that description (you know, the one who takes care of everything)

To LAKERGIRL08 - Logan is a do-gooder, isn't he? I didn't want him to fall of his role.Hope to hear from you again. Oh, yeah, if english is your first language, can you help with the mistakes? You can send me an e-mail. Thanks.

Chapter 10 – Goodbye...

Max looked straight into his cold, dark eyes and got scared. This was not the same Alec who was with her the entire night. This was not Alec she almost kissed. This was his 494 cover, and she was not used to seeing him like this. Of course she saw him fight before, but he was never this angry at her. She leaned down to pick up the letter and she decided it was time to tell the truth. The entire truth. The one about the letter and her feelings as well. She said goodbye to Logan and she was ready to welcome another person in her life. But his eyes were stopping her. She knew Alec was long gone. This person here wouldn't understand. He had the same look like when he attacked Joshua in his place by mistake. He was dangerous. His eyes changed when Logan came and she thought that's the reason he was acting like this.

_"Come on, Max, you can do it. Tell him the truth, release you both. He probably thinks you're still in love with Logan. That's why he's angry. You need to tell the truth."_ – she remembered Logan's words.

Alec was looking at her, not even blinking when she picked up the letter. She was in no position to run away and he knew it. It was time to roll the dices.

"_Well, she's awfully quiet now. I wonder what lie will she make up now. She became an expert."_ – Alec thought sarcastically. He was ready for that. He even planned the entire scenario. Max will tell him how the letter is not for him and he will except that. He won't even ask another question about the letter. He will tell her how he has to go and how the entire night was one big mistake. That, they should communicate only in business level. That was it. Scenario in his head, the one thing he was prepared to. But, he wasn't quite prepared to hear the truth.

And than Max spoke.

"Yes, it's for you." – she whispered as she handed him the letter.

For a second his eyes glanced not understanding what was happening. This was not the scenario in his head. He was supposed to have the last word. And now, she pushed him of his tracks.

He took the letter very slowly trying not to touch Max's hand. It was his time to act, cause Max didn't know he heard anything. In his head he didn't even want to read the letter. He said goodbye before and he didn't want to go back.

"Well, what is it?" – he asked trying to sound as convincing as possible.

Max felt her throat shrink. She was on the verge of tears, cause she knew that every word that will come from her mouth will hurt Alec.

"It's a letter for you." – she stopped taking a deep breath. – "It's from Rachel."

She looked at him expecting some reaction, but he just kept staring into the words written on the envelope: _To Simon, To Simon, To Simon_...He was staring at them realizing he doesn't feel like that letter was really for him. Rachel didn't know the real Alec, so this can't be for him. But, still, it was. Another minute went by and he still didn't move.

Max kept watching his face trying to read him, but there was no emotion on it. Just his mask.

"Say something." – she simply said.

He looked at her and saw her eyes water. That affected him, but he was in no mind to show her that.

"What do you want me to say? Ha?" – he asked.

"I don't know...say anything. Say that you want to know how I got it. Tell me anything!" – she was raising his voice and that made him angry.

"_Who does she think she is?!"_ – he thought. _– "She's the one who cant' let anyone alone, she's the one who made a mistake and she's yelling at me?"_

"I don't need to know how you got it, 452! – he yelled back, purposely calling her 452. – "You were trained to do that! You were trained to mess with people's lives!"

"Don't call me that." – she said hoarsely. – "I have a name, I have a life..."

"No, you don't have a life or you wouldn't meddle in mine!" – he yelled back.

"That was not your life Alec, that was just a disguise!" – she was in no condition to hold back. That was not his true life and she had to make him realize that.

"What do you know?!? But, than again, who would know any better about disguises than you? You're acting all the time. Is anything about you real? Or do you keep acting, with OC, Logan, me..."

"I'm not acting! This is me! Everything about me is real! I'm real! – she started hitting him, expecting him to fight back, but he just stood there receiving the punches.

"Why are you not saying anything? Why won't you fight back? You hate me? Than hit me! Here's your chance!" – she wanted to fight because that was the most easiest way to deal with problems.

Alec closed his eyes, cause he wasn't able to watch her break. His pride didn't let him fall back either.

"No, MAX, I don't hate you. I don't feel anything toward you right now." – he lied calmly. He placed the letter in his pocket, got his jacket and headed toward the door.

Max started to breath heavily thinking how that hurts her the most. Hate is some emotion. It means that you care enough to hate someone, but, he just told her he doesn't feel anything and that was the most painful hit she ever received. Wounds heal, but this words will make a permanent scar that will hurt forever.

He turned back for the last time and asked:

"Did you read it?"

She looked at him seeing painful emotions on his face but she didn't know was that from her keeping a secret from him, or because he received a letter form Rachel.

"No, I didn't read it." – she said, telling the truth cause she really didn't read the letter.

He didn't say a word. He buttoned his jacked, opened the door, and left.

Max watched at the door thinking how two most important men in her life left her by walking through that door.

When she ended up alone, she heard her mind speak.

_"They're both gone. You lost one because of another, and you lost the other because of yourself... I don't have anything now."_ – she felt empty inside so she took her jacket and the keys from the bar. She walked up the stairs taking her time. Approaching the door she glanced across the bar for the last time. Her look stopped on the piano as she recalled the moment between her and Alec. She felt instant warmth inside, but that feeling went away as soon as she remembered the rest that happened. She opened the door, got outside and locked the door. She found the barrel that she needed to hide the key, and than she left toward her motorcycle. Deep down inside, she expected to find Alec's bike still parked at the same place, but it wasn't. There was only dust where it was once parked. She sat on the bike, her face showing nothing, but as soon she started it, she let herself cry. For the first time after a long time. The sound of her baby let her cry without anyone hearing it. But, that wasn't necessary for Alec who stood a couple of meters away. He watched her cry feeling her pain inside of him. His pride was telling him not to reach her, but his heart was telling him to go over there and hold her. Despite the wishes of his heart he just stood there, feeling his eyes water as well. There they were, both crying, not knowing about the others feelings. Their tears were the same like they were both the same, right for each other

Max wiped her tears off, and looked at the distance. And with one move she was gone leaving Crash and Alec in the same place. She drove very fast, not knowing where she was going. She needed some time alone, but she needed to take care of something before. She arrived in front of her apartment thinking how OC is with her new girl. She unlocked the door and got in. Walking in the dark she found Rachel's diary that she hid before. She squeezed it in her arms and decided one very important thing.

She entered her bedroom and she found her old bag. She started to throw her clothes inside, not caring if it will wrinkle. She made quite a noise, but didn't care. Suddenly, the lights went on, and there was OC standing at the door.

"Boo, what the hell are you doing in the middle of the night?" - OC asked.

Max looked at her friend with a determination in her eyes.

"I'm leaving Seattle."

SO? Any thoughts about this chapter? Let me know please!


	12. She's gone

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now... A/M

To:

Lakergirl08 – thanks for betaing this chapter, so there aren't any mistakes! I'm sure that it will be much easier for everyone to read.

Onthedl – I hope you liked this chapter, since you didn't like my last ending :)

Katherine – thanks for you review. I tried to get everything into this chapter, so it would have sense. And, of course, the letter. It was kind of hard to write it, but I hope you liked it. (and everyone else)I will write you an e-mail soon.

Willow98002 – Hope this wasn't too long a wait.

NoAngell – I wasn't sure how to rate my story, so I just left G. I have no idea how that works. I mean, I know, but I don't know where to put this one. At least not yet. Thanks for the review! By the way, the feeling of guilt that Max had is familiar to me too. It's an awful feeling.

SGOU – Don't worry, everything will come to it's place as soon as the time Is right. I don't like to rush things. :)

Tara – thanks for your review as well

Icebox – Hope you won't be hanging a lot after this chapter :)

Molly – Thanks for a great review! Hope you'll like this chapter. Let me know!

X5-666 – Thanks for your compliment. By the way, I really like your story "Cure for all the question"!

Katydid – I really enjoyed your statement about capturing Max and Alec's characters. It really means a lot to me.

OK, now let's get back to the chapter!

Chapter 11 – She's gone.

Max's words came as a shock to OC, but that wasn't the first time Max said them. She decided once before that she will leave and that was because of Logan. Since she saw Logan come out of their apartment, she concluded that he was once again the reason why her girl is depressed.

"What did your boy do now?" – OC asked quietly.

Max squeezed her shirt, which she held in her hands. Her boy didn't do anything, since he wasn't hers in the first place. But, she knew OC didn't mean Alec, but Logan.

"Logan didn't do anything. This has nothing to do with him, actually." – she was in no mood to discuss with OC what went on the entire night. But, she also knew that if she's gonna bail on her best friend, she needed to tell the truth. And she needed a favor as well...

"So, are you gonna just stand there and then leave without a word or you're gonna tell me what happened." – OC asked feeling sad, but angry as well. She lost her friend too many times before.

Max sat on her bed, trying to figure out where to start, and how to make this quick.

"Well..." – she started. – "It has to do with Alec..." – then OC interrupted her.

"What did that jerk do now!?! I knew he was trouble, but to drive you out of the town..." – she lurched.

"He didn't do anything wrong, OC" – Max whispered. – "It was my fault. And that's why I'm leaving. I can't look in his eyes again. There's too much hurt in them, which I caused."

OC looked at her bewildered. If she didn't know any better, she could swear her girl was on the verge of tears. But, she didn't want to interrupt Max or she will shut down and she will end up with no information.

Max continued.

"I hurt him, OC. You should have seen his eyes. They were full of pain, and all because of me. I needed to know everything, like always! I meddled in his life and it was none of my business. How come I always hurt the one I love..." – she stopped herself, but not before OC heard her statement.

"The one you love? You mean like a friend, right?"

There was no place to lie, so she decided OC was the right person she could tell the truth too. Although she wasn't the right one exactly...

"No, OC, I really mean the one I love. As in the phrase I love Alec."

"When did this happen? I mean, I could tell there was something going on between you too, but love, boo?" – OC sat, since there were too many things she needed to process at the same time.

"Yeah...don't think I'm not as surprised as well." – she sighed.

"OK, I can understand how that can scare you off, but to leave town, boo? What's with that?"

"I told you I hurt him."

"What happened!?" – she was starting to raise her voice. They were talking for a while and she still didn't know anything specifically.

"Max got up from her bed and left towards the dresser. She opened one of the drawers and lifted the base. She took out Rachel's journal and showed it to OC.

"This happened. I stole a journal that belonged to Alec's ex girlfriend who died a couple of days ago, blamed by Manticore." – Max said quickly.

OC looked at the book, not being able to say anything.

"So, Logan found the letter that fell out of this journal when he was here, and he brought it to Crash."

"He gave it to Alec?!" – OC asked surprised. Sure Logan loved Max, and he would do anything to keep her, but to hurt someone on purpose, that wasn't like him.

"No...he gave it to me. He figured out what was happening and he let me go. He said I should do with the letter what ever I want. And I gave it to Alec."

"Where was he the entire time?"

"Hmm...in the bathroom."

"And he didn't hear any of your conversation with Logan?" – OC asked trying hard to believe. Max's abilities and Alec's as well freaked her out still. What was normal to Max wasn't normal for OC.

Max looked at her strangely not realizing what she's getting to.

"I told you, he was in the bathroom..."

"Come on, boo, if you wanted you could hear that couple snoring two doors away. Why do you think Alec didn't hear you and Logan?"

The realization hit Max hard.

"_He knew about the letter even before I gave it to him..."_ – she thought. – _"Why didn't he say anything?"_

Max sat back on the bed, holding her knees up. She started rocking back and forth like a little baby. OC got up and sat next to her.

"Come on, boo. I'm sure; he'll forgive you eventually. He will realize that you did what you thought you had to do. You don't have to leave town. Especially, cause you have people loving you here. Don't leave us again."

Max stopped rocking and looked up at OC.

She hugged her as she whispered in her ear:

"I'm sorry, but I have to go. I will keep in touch, I swear."

With that she packed the rest of her stuff in a hurry and she headed towards the door.

She dropped her stuff on the floor and looked at her friend for the last time. She headed back to her room and took the journal from the bed. She handed it to OC.

"I want you to give him this. He needs to read Rachel's feelings that are written here. He deserves to know...He doesn't know about this yet, so be gentle."

"Why don't you give him this?" – OC asked still a little bit angry, but now she at least understood.

"I can't...please, OC, don't make me beg." – she whispered;

OC grabbed the journal from Max's hands and threw it on the table. With one move she caught her friend in a tight embrace and said:

"I love you, boo. Keep in touch."

"I love you too. And, don't worry, I'll keep in touch."

Max took her backpack and headed through her apartment door. She glanced once again around her place, her eyes finally resting on OC. She smiled at her friend reassuring her that everything will be OK.

And with that she was gone. She walked down the stairs feeling tears in her eyes once again. But her mind was blank. She forced herself not to think cause than she could change her mind. And she wanted to leave.

She secured the bag on her motorcycle and sat down. With her mind blank she started her baby and left. Only dust left behind her. Dust and her best friend who was sitting on the floor of her apartment crying...

After he saw Max take off Alec drove around the city. His mind was full of information he needed to process. First there were his feelings towards Max that appeared, than there was another type of feelings he had. And that was plain hate towards her. He didn't understand how she could have done that. On one side, he wanted to yell at her and on the other he wanted to hug her.

"_I can't do this"_ – he thought – _"I can't forgive her. She doesn't deserve it. All her life she played by her own rules, now she needs to learn that she can't get away with everything! I can't believe she broke into Berrisford's place! I mean, where on earth did she get that idea?! And what's with the letter... "_ Suddenly, he stopped. He parked his motorcycle by the road as he grasped his jacket.

"_The letter. I totally forgot about the letter. My mind was focused on Max, I forgot..."_ – he thought to himself as he pulled the letter out. He looked at the soft handwriting and his look softened as well. He swallowed and opened up the letter. He closed his eyes like the words will blind him. The letter was for him, despite the fact it was addressed To Simon. He was Simon in a way.

"_I guess I should read it. I'm Simon, right?"_ – he wondered. _– "Simon. Alec. Simon. Alec. I was Simon for Rachel, and Max named me Alec. Who am I now? The person Rachel wrote this letter to is gone. The only person left was the person that was born after everything. And that was Alec."_ – Alec smiled unconsciously on the memory how he got that name.

But, his smile faded fast. He forced himself to read it. It said:

"_Dear Simon...nice start, ha? _

_Anyway, you're probably wondering why I'm writing you a letter. I wanted to make an admission. I already told you I loved you. Which was by the way surprising to myself as well. It kind of hurt me you didn't say it back, but I guess I rushed into things. Anyway, I wanted to apologize for that in this letter. I don't want you to feel awkward around me. You're my teacher, and I understand that you don't want to cross that line completely. So, if you want to end this, I'll understand. But, still I have to tell you how I feel. Normally, I don't feel very comfortable around boys. Sure, I have friends and all, but there was no boy I liked that I didn't feel awkward around. You were standing next to me, and I didn't feel that. It was like you belonged there... next to me. No weirdness, no strange emotions, just peace. I can look in your eyes, and I don't have the need to look away. Like your eyes were meant to watch me. I could touch you by accident and I don't have to apologize, cause that is natural, me touching you. When you come for a visit, my heart jumps a little because it knows you are there FOR ME. You come to see me. And no matter that you come because you have to, it still appears to me that you come because in a way you want to..._

_Hmm, I guess I got a little carried away. I'm sorry. Anyway, that is what I want to say. I'm not embarrassed by my feelings so I'm writing them to you. Remember them..._

_Love, Rachel."_

Alec closed the letter, tears appearing in his eyes. He wiped them away quickly like anyone could see. But, there wasn't a soul in the streets that night. Everything was peaceful except Alec's soul. He needed to visit one last place before heading home. He got on his bike and took off. He drove as fast as he could like the place will run away from him. But, there it was, the cemetery. He knew exactly how to find Rachel's grave. He read the words written on the gravestone. He dropped on his knees feeling very week, and his tears escaped from his eyes again. He placed the letter on the grave gently securing it with a piece of wood he found. Only wind could hear his words.

"Hey. I read your letter today. I wonder, were you planning on giving it to me or not. Anyway, I'm glad I read it..." – Alec was trying to remain his posture, but the words on the stone broke him.

"I'm so sorry, Rachel. You're lying here because of me. If I could turn back time, I would die for you. I would have saved you. I loved you so much. Each day was a gift for me, cause I was able to see your face, your dark hair and your dark eyes. I really loved you."

He took a deep breath, finding his ease.

"But, there is one thing I need to say as well. You were the first person I loved, and you will always be in my heart. It's time to say goodbye. Not to what we had, 'cause that will always exist, but to each other, cause we're not in the same place anymore. You're in a much better place than I am. And you have to enjoy it. Cause you deserve it."

Alec looked up in the sky, like he could see her face smiling down at him. But, the sky remained dark. He got up, took one last look at Rachel's name on the stone. He leaned down and kissed the ground where his love slept.

His heart was peaceful now. No anger, no anxiety, just peace. He was ready to move on.

His thoughts went back to Max. He could see her face, and all he wanted to do was to touch it. He got back on his motorcycle and left towards Max's apartment.

"_I can forgive her now."_ – he thought to himself. He just wondered would she feel the same as him.

Quickly he arrived in front of Max's building and got up the stairs. It appeared like nothing can stop him, but than he stopped in front of her door.

"_Should I knock? It's late. I can't just barge in here in the middle of the night."_ – he thought. He was making a slightly loud sound by walking in the hallway, but he didn't pay attention. Suddenly the door opened in front of him, and he saw OC standing in front of him, obviously crying.

"She's gone forever." – she whispered.

Well, there it is! My new chapter! I hope you liked it! I was working on it a little longer than on the last one. I hope it shows! Let me know, OK?


	13. The past will never leave

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now… A/M

Thanx to:

ONTHEDL – I know it was a long wait, but hope it was worth it. Tell me what you think

Katydid – I know what you mean by being a sap, but I couldn't let Alec fall off his character.

UAR – there it is, finally next chapter. I promise I will write next sooner.

Icebox – This is what you get :) But you won't have to wait for the sequel this long.

Katherine – since we talked through the mail (and we're going to do so in the future), I hope this chapter made more sense to you.

Alexceaser – I'm very glad I have a new reader and I hope you will stay one as well. Say what you think.

Beggin here – I hope I caught you on time and you had the time to read this.

Chapter 12

Alec just stood there watching OC's crying face. He heard what she said, but that wasn't what he expected. Max gone. In his mind, she will stay in his life forever. Annoying him. But, she was the only one he knew that is like him. Not only the trangenic thing, although that is a big part. But she also has monsters from the past. He packed his aside, and he wanted to help her to do the same. Somehow, she helped him, inspite of the fact he didn't want that. It was time to help her. But, OC's words stopped that thinking. With her gone, his past might come back. But then there will be no one to help him.

"Alec?" – Oc tried to wake him up from his thoughts.

"Huh?" – he asked confused but quickly he regaind his posture. - "What do you mean she's gone forever? Did she come home? I just saw her a couple of hours ago."

"Yeah, well, that's kind of the reason she left. See, boo, I know the whole story."

Alec's face became dark. He wasn't ready to share his past with anyone else. Except Max, of course. But, again, she told someone.

"Go figure." – Alec said sarcastically as he entered the apartment. – _"And there I thought she learned her lesson. Someone elses buisness is their buisness! She really is a walking gossip!"_

OC watched him as he approached the couch and sat.

"And? What do you have to say about everything? Since Max told you, I presume, every single detail." – his voice got louder and louder. – "Any deep advices? I can tell you have some big words to say. You never had any problems with making me feel like shit."– he tried to sound confident and sarcastic but his voice was letting him down so he stopped.

OC stared at him thinking how she sees him entirely different now. Suddenly every detail from the past she remembered made sense. His irony, inabillity to confide, inabillity to love just one girl…

"No, no big words." – she said quitly. – "But, I have a question, though."

"Shoot." – Alec said throwing his arms up.

"Can you help me get my friend back?"

Alec was taken aback by that. He expected an interigation, yelling, but, she wasn't concerin spitened by him at all. All she wanted was to get Max back. And in some way, so did he. But would never admit that…

"Look, Cindy, I know you know everything, so I presume you know what she did…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! I know! – OC yelled. – "You know what!? I'm sick and tired of your past! I mean, I know you two had a tough childhood, I know you can't get away from that, from Manticore! But, you live in this world now. This is the place where friendship is deeply important! You just don't run from it if you have a problem with a man! She ran from me because of you! And you know it! I can't go through that again! I don't even know if I'll ever see her again." – she stopped cause she ran out of air. She expected some reaction from Alec but there wasn't any. He just sat there thinking about what she said.

"I know friendship is important, OC. Trust me, I know. Max was there for me. She saved my life just days ago. She acted like a friend."

"Oh, bullshit! With your enhanced vision, one would assume, you can see what's going on. You really think friendship is what binds you two together?" – she asked looking straight into his eyes. They reacted and he looked away.

"No, I don't think that. We ARE binded by the fact we're different. Friends or no friends we still fight for the same thing." – he said as he approached the window and looked out. – "You think you understand what it was like to live in Manticore? Max even doesn't know that. She got an opportunity to know her true self. She named herself, and I was always just a designation. Even now I don't feel like a person with a name." – he sighed.

"She named you didn't she?"

"Yeah…well, that's not important" – he lied becoming more silent with every word he said. It was important to him. The name had made him feel more adjusted to this world.

OC hregainedregainedad approached him and tried to touch his shoulder, but when she did that he jumped leaving her hand hanging in mid air.

"Don't touch me!" – he growled. – "I don't need your sympathy. I don't need anyone."

"Then why are you here?" – OC simply asked with her hands on her hips. She knew Alec was there to see Max but she needed him to admit that. She got an opportunity to watch them day after day, and she knew that even before this incident they had the connection.

"_Come on, boo, admit that you need her, and than everything will be in the right place. Admit it."_ – OC thought.

His eyes were piercing through hers like they were challenging one another to back away. But, OC wasn't inbusinessbusinessbusinessbusinesstimidated by his stare. She lost her friend, she had nothing else to loose.

"I'm here to say goodbye." – he spoke silently surprising even himself.

"What do you mean? Don't tell me you're leaving also?" – OC asked bewildered. Her ears heard a lot of nonsence, but this night was too weird. First Max was leaving, than the guy she left for.

"That's exactly what I meant. Since Max isn't here, I'm saying goodbye to you. I just need to go over to Joshua's to say goodbye to him. Well, bye, OCinabilityinabilityquietlyinterrogation." – Alec said and headed toward the door.

OC watched him bewildered! - _"What the hell is going on here?!"_ – she wondered. – _"This whole world is going to hell!"_

"Wait, Alec!" – she called.

Alec stood in the doorway, not turning around.

"What?" – he simply asked.

OC tried to decide should she tell him about the journal, since he wasnconcern't in the greatest mood. But, she had a promise to keep.

"I have something for you. Wait here." – she sighed and went for the dresser where Rachels journal laid. She picked it up thinking how that little book was guilty for that whole arrangement. _"The best thing for all of us would be if I throw this in the fire._ – she thought.

She walked toward Alec with a little fear in her eyes. Alec was like a hurt animal, no one could tell what he'll do. But, she made a promise to Max.

"Here you go. This is also for you. And before you get all mad and all, I will tell you what it is."

Alec turned around looking at the book he saw in Max's hands just this morning. It was the time when he senced for the first time something was wrong, when he senced Rachel on Max. He knew this book was another trigger to his past. But he didn't say anything. He let OC continue.

"See, Max didn't steal the letter from that house. She stole this. It's Rachel's diary. She needed to know what happened there exactly, and since you didn't want to tell her, she decided to find out for herself. – OC stopped for a second, since the worst thing is about to come.

"She read this."

Alec flinched, and it was almost like he was snarling. He closed his eyes, and listened to the rest of OC's confession."She read this, but she wasn't prepared for everything that would come afterwards. Not the consequences of you becoming angry, but the ones about her own feelings. She didn't even know about the letter until Logan found it here, on the floor. He thought you left it here so he went to Crash to give it to you. But, there he relized everything. So, he decide Max should tell you the truth herself. And that's what she did. He let her go because of you…" – She left that sentence floating in the air hoping that Alec would finally see the entire truth, but he just stood in the doorway.

Alec took the journal from her hands and gave her one last look.

"She's a coward." – he whispered and took off.

OC fell back on the floor and started crying again. Nothing was going right. Only one thing held her in place.

"_Maybe he'll talk to Joshua. Joshua seems to understand him."_

On the other side of the door, Alec was sitting on the floor as well, holding the journal tightly letting tears fall from his eyes. Thinking how his past will never let him go.

Max was driving through the city thinking how the best thing would be is to leave everything behind. There was nothing keeping her here. And although with that thought she saw OC's face, and Sketchy's and even Normal's, she blocked those images away. Only Alec's face with that painful expression kept returning. Suddenly she stopped. She looked across the street realizing she was right in front of the cemetary. She got off her bike and as if she were hypnotized she walked in. With her night vision it was no problem to adjust to the dark. She made some sound by walking on the leaves, but there was no one there, so she ignored it. Time went by and she still didn't find the right grave. And then, right in front of the words read: Rachel, belowed daughter. The date on the stone convinced her she had found the right grave, and the familiar piece of paper assured her of that completely. She kneeled down and whispered:

"I didn't know you, but we have something in common. Alec was one of the most important people in our lives. You lost him because of Manticore, but I never had him.regained I don't know what I'm doing here, but I needed to come. I feel liksensedsensede I know you. And I'm sorry I never realizedmet cemeteryyou,bellowed cause I feel we would have a lot of things in common. And since I'm leaving I wanted to say goodbye to you too."

She kept looking at the letter feeling like she shouldn't be here, but no one was there to see her. Any how, she quickly stood up and left.

"Now I have one more stop before I go. I need to say goodbye to Joshua."

Again she got on her baby and took off towards her friends place.

I know, I know, I know. It was a long wait, but I'm really short with my time. I promise next chapter won't take this long. Anyway, tell me what you think about this one! Kiss, kiss!


	14. Right place in the right time

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now… A/M

Thanks to:

Onthedl – I know it was kind of dark chapter and I'm trying to lighten it up a bit, but I feel like this is the right time for a truly bad time between them. But, trust me, I will lighten up the situation soon.

Katherine – Sorry, I haven't written to you, but I'm really out of time. Of course, thanks for your review. I hope you'll like this chapter.

SGOU – thanks for your review. I'm glad you liked my last chapter. And I hope you'll like this one too. I'm not planning on mentioning the journal again (it's content I mean). I think it was mentioned plenty of time.

Charming Girl – thanks for you review. I hope you enjoyed this.

Well, here's chapter 13 – lucky number!

Chapter 13 – Right place in the right time

Alec was driving across town not even thinking how he needed to get the rest of his stuff if he was gonna leave town. His mind was only focused on the road. His eyes were fixated on the white line that was separating the street in two lines like that was the line he was walking on. It was like he wished he would fall off his tracks. Nothing stopped him. Not the traffic not his reason. Rachel's journal was underneath his jacket, but he didn't want to read it. He said goodbye.

"I don't need to read this. I know what happened in that house. I'm one of the main characters of this story. I don't need it." – he thought and then remembered the fact Max read his part.

"She knows everything…she knew everything back at Crash." – his mind went back to earlier that evening. He remembered her laughter, her warm touch when she convinced him of their friendship. – "I should be angry at her. But, why am I so bothered by the fact she understands. It wasn't just pity, was it?" - was the question playing in his head. But then his soldier mode came through.

"You should be angry. It wasn't her duty to do this." .

Duty. Duty. Pictures of them being kids and back in training kept flashing in front of his eyes. He saw Max smiling, than her face changed into Rachel's., again duty, discipline, Rachel.

Suddenly he stopped. His hazel eyes were wide open, like he was staring at some image. His memories were suddenly included in a shape of Max's face. Even those she really wasn't part of. He closed his eyes but her face got even clearer. Her brown eyes were watching him, her face showing that she's the only one who can read him. And now she was gone. Her essence was gone. He started his ninja again and soon approached Joshua's house. It was dark inside, but he decided he could go in. "We don't need that much sleep anyway."

He climbed the stairs like he was climbing a mountain. He knew Joshua would try to talk him out of leaving, but he really didn't have any reason to stay.

"Josh?" – he whispered as he entered the place.

Even in dark he saw no sign of his friend.

"Josh, where the hell are you?"

"Alec?" – Joshua appeared from the back room.

"Yeah, it's me."

"Why you're here this late? Something wrong with my Little fella?" – Joshua asked kind of worried. Sure, Alec was his friend, but they didn't just hang out often. Especially not in the middle of the night. And with everything that went on the last couple of days. Alec was a ticking bomb last time he saw him.

Alec realized Joshua didn't know anything about Max leaving town, and that was weird.

"She should have said goodbye to him. I wonder why she hasn't. "

" No. Nothing is wrong actually. I came to say goodbye."

"Goodbye? Why goodbye? Where you're going" – Joshua asked as he turned on the lights in the room. His eyes fell on Alec's face, which looked very tired. All his strength was drained out of him and he didn't try to hide it.

"I'm leaving this town. I decided I should move on. Try something new. You know, meet some other people?" – Alec said trying to return some of his cockiness into his voice. And to someone else it would appear like that, but Joshua saw beyond that.

"Meet other people, huh? Not enough people here?"

Alec turned away from him because it was hard for him to lie to his friend.

"Yeah, well, I spent most of my life in Manticore, I need to see what's in the world."

That statement almost sounded convincing, but Joshua kept pushing.

"World is here. Where your friends are. Joshua here, little fella here…"

"Yeah, great, little fella" – Alec remarked with sarcasm in his voice.

"You and little fella fight?" – Joshua asked as he sniffed the air. He could feel another cat present.

Max came to Joshua's place just in time to see that Alec's ninja was parked in front. At first she didn't wanna go in, but, no matter what, she needed to say goodbye to Joshua. And she was still brave.

She walked up the stairs still hesitating a bit. Like a ping pong match was playing in her head. Go in, don't go in. Go in. Don't go in.

First she decided to take a look through the window.

"Little precaution is always welcome." – she said out loud.

Max crawled reaching the window, her mind racing.

"What the hell am I doing? I should really try that honesty thing, once in a while. I'm lying here in the dirt, just because I have to prepare myself for every occasion. Great." – she sighed. – "OK, here goes nothing."

She lifted herself up just a little so her eyes were just beyond the casement. She looked on the left and saw nothing.

"Maybe they are in the other room" – she thought but then her eyes crashed with Joshua's. She almost fell back, but refrained herself.

"He's trying to tell me something..: Where's Alec?" – her thought stopped since she saw his bike in front. He was looking in the other direction.

"What is he doing?" – Max wondered since Joshua was showing her something with his hands.

"Stay…no, that's wait there. I will come for you." – Max's eyes narrowed. – "Why do I have to wait. Oh, God, Alec must be pissed off. I should just run away from this place. But, I'll wait. For Josh."

So, Max, stayed there sitting in the dirt, not minding the cold, not minding the dirt also. Her mind was focused on only one thing – Alec was just inches away…

Joshua felt Max close, but he also wasn't prepared to see her peaking through the window. And since Alec was getting worked up, he didn't say anything. His attention went back to his friend.

"…she's the most interfering person I have ever met. I mean, I'm a grown up, no need for her to try to fix my life. And she's done that exactly." – Alec was going on and on until Joshua stopped him.

"Little fella hurt you, huh?"

And it was like all his confession was shorted into that little sentence. She hurt him.

"Yeah, well, that's a strong word." – Alec remarked his smirk on his lips. But Joshua kept staring into his eyes like there's that answer everyone needed to hear.

"What are you doing, man?" –Alec flinched.

"You lie." – Joshua said simply.

"I lie. Yeah, generally, I lie. So?"

"I don mean generally. I mean, now. Now you lie." – Joshua said as he started to walk round the room. – "You lie when you say everything is OK. And you lie when you say you need to meet other people."

Alec looked at him trying to figure out when Joshua became so perceptive, not knowing he was the first one who read his true side.

"Well, maybe I'm lying, maybe I'm not. All the same the point is I'm leaving. So, bye big fella." – Alec said heading toward the door.

"Coward." – Joshua said simply and that got Alec's attention. It was the same word he said to OC when he heard Max was leaving and now the ball was back on his side of the court.

"I'm not a coward." – his eyes were sparking, cause he was getting angrier by the minute. He was a soldier; he was no coward.

"Yes. Yes you are. You run from your friends. Father left me like that. I know what that feels like. And this is it."

"Look, dog boy, you don't know anything about me, so don't call me a coward. I came to say goodbye, so let me do this in a proper way."

"Proper way would be to say goodbye to little fella."

Alec laughed a little, since everything ended up with bringing up Max's name. He remembered that Joshua didn't know about Max's departure and he didn't want to be the one to bring the bad news.

"I'll write her a letter one day." – he simply said as he walked toward the door, but Joshua jumped from behind startling him a little.

"Wait here." – he said and left the house.

"What the hell…" – Alec asked himself surprisingly. But since he had no plan on where to go, he decided to wait for Josh. He walked back into the living room looking at some new Joshua's paintings. He heard the sound of the door again and than Joshua's voice.

"Here. Say goodbye."

He turned around and there was Max standing in front of him.

"Alec." – she whispered.

A/N – Well???? Did you like it? I REALLY want to know, so PLEASE review!


	15. At peace at last

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now… A/M

Thanks to:

OntheDL – well, there it is! It wasn't a long wait I hope. I know last chapter was kind of dark and this one is also like that in a way, but I hope you will like it in the end.

Aur – thanks for your review. I'm glad you liked the fact Joshua was the one trying to bring those two together. They are the same in a way.

Katherine – I know that part was kind of confusing. I just don't know how to verbalize things I mean. I meant to say that Max was the one who ends up each of his thoughts. If you understand what I'm saying. She is in every single his memories.

leelou – I'm glad you like my story and I hope you will like this chapter also.

Annabelle – great to hear from you again. I could update more frequent, but than it would be full of mistakes. I have to send my chapter to my beta first, and than to this site. So I have to wait for her to repair my mistakes. And she's great about it, cause she has her own business to take care of and still finds the time to do this. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter! Let me know!

JimBobIndoors – well, I kind of didn't understand your whole review, but thanks anyway for your support! :)

And to all of you MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Chapter 14 – At peace at last

He was looking at her like he was seeing her for the first time. And it kind of was like the first time - a lot happened since they last saw each other. He found out she broke into Berrisford mansion, he found out she stole from that place, he found out she knows everything about his mission, he found out she knows everything about him…

She was standing there in front of him looking like she was in a fight; dirt all over her, dishevelled, but still beautiful. It was almost like nothing can make her ugly.

Max was not prepared to see Alec again, especially not this close.

"_He looks tired…disappointed. I wish I could erase all that happened. I wish I could see him smile again like he was laughing back at Crash. Oh, God, I can't do this…"_ – she thought but than Joshua spoke again.

"Here, say goodbye."

Max finally heard what Joshua was saying.

"_Goodbye, what goodbye? Where is he going?"_ – she wondered and the realization finally hit her. If she leaves she will never see Alec's face again. That would hurt her. And now she heard he was leaving and that was even worse. But, she didn't wanna say anything first. That was not a problem, since Alec spoke.

"Well, well, looks like I can't run away from you. Keeping track of me?" – he asked harshly.

Max blinked trying to block away the feelings she had reflecting in her eyes.

"No. I came to say goodbye to Joshua."

Joshua looked at her surprisingly.

"_What was she saying? Now, she's the one who is saying goodbye."_

"Goodbye? Where is little fella going?" – Joshua asked her.

"Come on, man, what do you think? – Alec said sarcastically. – "When things get rough, Maxie runs away. Well, no wonder, since it's in her nature. Running away, I mean."

Max just stood there taking in every verbal punch he gave her. And she took it. Normally, she would fight back, but felt she had no right to do so. So she just stood there and that made Alec even more mad.

"Why are you not saying a word, Maxie? You're awfully quiet. Nothing to say or cat got your tongue?" – Alec asked his behavior getting more aggressive. But he couldn't help himself. He was mad and he had to make his peace. That was the only way in his mind. So, he kept pushing.

"Still nothing? You see, I came to your appartment earlier. Spoke with OC. Poor girl was all in tears. You left her too. Your best friend. And here's Josh! You're leaving him, too!." – he started walking around her, like he was investigating her and she just stood still closing her eyes once in a while. She needed to regain her posture. And she could feel her tears rising also. His words were coming to her like strong waves, causing her to rock a little. But, Alec didn't notice that. He kept talking.

"And let's not forget about Logan." – he stopped a little taking time to watch her face. But, she didn't react on the mention of his name like she did earlier in Crash.

"What do you think he will say when he finds out you're gone like the wind? You're leaving everyone. I, at least don't have anyone who means something to me, so it's ok to leave, but you…pretending to belong in this world. You need people to convince you that you belong here, and you don't believe that for a second, right? You just seek attention. You're special, and everyone has to treat you that way. Little princess. You're making me sick."

Joshua stood there watching tears falling by themselves from Max's eyes. She wasn't even trying to hide them. Her stare was focused on one spot on the wall and she hadn't said a word.

"That's enough, Alec." – Joshua whispered.

Alec was standing behind her now and after Joshua spoke his last words he stepped in front of her. Her tears were a shock for him. He didn't expect them. Suddenly his eyes changed. Dark look in them transformed into his normal haze look. It was like he heard himself speak again the same thing and felt he went too far. Only, he wasn't the person who would say "I'm sorry" that easily.

"Yeah, that's enough." – Alec agreed.

Joshua shook Max's shoulders like he was trying to wake her up. And she looked up meeting his eyes. They looked at each other for a second, like no one had anything to say. But, they knew what each other was thinking.

"I'm sorry, Joshua, but you understand what happened, right? You're the only one who understands both me and Alec…" – Max thought.

"Come on, little fella, don't cry, you are the strong one. Fight back. Fight back for the one you want…" – Joshua's eyes were saying back.

Alec just stood there watching them communicate like that. It wasn't jeaulosy he felt, cause there was nothing between Joshua and Max, but he wanted to be the one on the other side of that eye duel. Finally Max spoke. There was no insecurity in her tone. She sounded crucial. But, only she knew that was a disguise. That she needed to focus on her strength.

"You're wrong. I'm not leaving town." – she said her eyes finally reaching Alec's. – "And I'm not a coward."

Her eyes were challenging his to respond.

"I'm also not leaving." – was the only thing he said.

Max looked at him nodding. She turned around, touched Joshua's arm and left.

The door closed behind her and she felt relieved. It was getting way intence for her in there. But she felt glad also. She took in everything Alec had to say to her. She took it and survived. Not in a life-surviving way, but in an emotional way. Her hand was still laying on the door knob as she remembered everything he said. Her mind was not letting her be at peace, so she decided to take another glance inside the window. She leaned a little trying not to make any noise. She saw Alec taking a seat, both him and Joshua not saying anything. He laid his head in his hands and Joshua was standing in front of him just staring.

She stepped away from the window , her eyes having a pensive look. Suddenly in the corner of her lips a little smile apperared.

"I'm also not leaving." – she heard Alec speak again in her mind.

With that smile she walked toward her ninja and sat on it smiling. She started it and sped off towards her apartment with extreme speed. She needed to see OC again and explain everything to her.

So? Did you like it? Let me know everything you think!

Merry Christmas to all!


	16. Another beggining

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now… A/M

Thanks to: Gauri, SGOU, Annabelle, Katherine

Chapter 15 – Another beginning?

Alec was sitting on the couch for a few minutes not saying a word. His head rested on his hands as it would drop off if he didn't hold it up.

"_I can't believe everything that happened"_ – he thought. – _"I didn't have this much action in one day even in Manticore. My head will explode!"_

Joshua kept staring at his friend not wanting to say a word. He spent his entire life in a basement with a lot of trangenics and they didn't communicate and yet he still knew what they were feeling. And the same thing was happening now. He knew Alec's emotions, cause they were obvious. They would be obvious even to a normal person.

"Does it hurt?" – he simply asked. Again his words touched Alec and he flinched inside. Joshua couldn't tell, since his hands covered his face but his eyes opened in an instant. In that small sentence all truth laid.

"What?" – he asked like he didn't hear anything. He prayed deep inside Joshua would drop the matter.

"Does it hurt"? – Joshua repeated more slowly, like speaking to a retarded person.

Alec looked up, his face showing Joshua hit a nerve.

"What do you think, huh?" – he asked retorically not expecting an answer, but Joshua needed to respond.

"I think you didn't realize a person, a cat can feel such pain."

Alec sighed at that remark. Count on Joshua if you need to know the painful truth.

"Well, you're probably right."

He leaned back on the couch his eyes wondering around the room. He was looking at Joshua's paintings not really seeing them.

"Let me ask you something." – Alec said after a few moments. – "Do you know what betrayel is?"

"Yes. Betrayel when you step on someones confidence."

"Exactly. And, do you know what Maxie did? She did exactly that! And worse…" – his voice was getting louder again but soon trailed off.

Joshua muzzled him again.

"No." – he simply said.

He walked toward Alec, kneeled down and whispered.

"She stepped on your heart."

His eyes were penetrating Alec's, not letting him lie again. There was no one else there, just them. It was time to let truth wonder through the room. Doors were closed, and so were the windows. There they were facing each other, challenging another to back away.

Alec felt a pang in his heart. He wanted to say everything to Joshua, but his ego was stronger. It was like there was something in his throat preventing him from speaking the entire truth.

He swallowed that emotion and let his weak voice out.

"Yeah. – he coughed a little. – "You're right. She stepped on my heart. Luckily it was already damaged so the feeling is not totally infamiliar. – he smiled sarcastically. – "Know some good repairman?"

There it was, Alec's new sarcastic remark. Nothing new there. It's always easier to hide behind the humor than to express your pain. It's easier to build the walls.

"Little fella can fix you." - Joshua said like that' the most normal thing as he stood back up. In his eyes things can be fixed that easiely.

"I don't think little fella is the right person for the job, Josh. She kind of always gets to break everything." – Alec sighed.

"This time different. This time she knows she did wrong."

"And how do you know that, huh?" – Alec asked his curiosity rising.

"Her eyes were watering. And little fella cries for no one. Only for the person she cares about."

"Yeah,and that's herself! She felt sorry for herself."

"No, she cried cause of you. She hurt you, you hurt her back."

"Well, my friend, that's the most common behavior in the world. If someone hurts you, you hurt him back. That simple."

Joshua started to walk around the room, while Alec's eyes followed him. It was like his patience was leaving him.

"No. No. No. That's not how it should be." – he yelled.

Alec's eyes grew in amazement. He never saw Joshua so upset.

"Come, on, Josh, take it easy. It's not such a big deal."

"Big deal. This is a big deal. Little fella and you need to make up. We're stronger than that."

Alec finally understood what his friend was saying. Him and Max were the only people who were like him that he knew well and they were a family. He stood up and approached his friend. He patted him on his back.

"Look. You shouldn't worry like that. No matter what, we'll always take care of each others back." – he stopped as his mind went back to Max. He wanted to take care of her…but…

"God! I'm trying to convince Josh into something I don't even believe…Me and Max can never be the same people we were before. We will never see the same way. She's thinking that too, for sure."

He looked at Joshua and by seing his sad face he decided the most normal thing in that moment.

"He doesn't need to know that. I need to lie this time to protect him."

"Don't worry, big fella." – he said smiling his voice sounded more cheerful. – "We will always take care of each other! We're a gang! True pals. You know?!"

"Yeah." – Joshua whispered. He walked toward the window and looked into the darkness. His eyes were sad and his soul was empty. Things will change.

"You're a liar, Alec." – Joshua was thinking as his eyes watched the darkness outside.

Max parked in front of her building rising, she looked up at her window. The lights were still on.

"I guess OC couldn't fall asleep. I did it again!" – Max thought sarcastically. –"Well, I really know how to make people miserable. Well, let's face the consequences of my work. AGAIN!"

She got into the building taking her time. She was just here a few hours ago telling her best friend she's leaving town for good. And she's back to tell her she's staying.

As she approached the door she realized that this is her home, the only one she'll ever have.

"Should I just walk in? Why do I have the feeling I should knock on my own door?" – she smiled at her own thought. She turned the knob and entered. The lights in the living room were on but there was no sign of OC.

She heard some noise coming from the bedroom and she stopped in her tracks.

"I can't barge in there. Maybe she's with that girl from before. Well, I can't just stand here as well."

She got closer to the door as she decided the most safe thing would be to call her a little louder.

"Hey, OC! I'm back! I'm standing here in front of your door. I don't want to interrupt anything. I will just wait here until you come out."

Suddenly the door flew open and OC jumped out of the room right into Max's arms!

"Oh, boo, you're back!" Please tell me you just didn't come to get your favorite jacket and you're leaving again. In that case I will have to kill you! Or at least inflict some serious damage."

Max smiled in OC's neck thinking how she would really miss her friend if she indeed left.

"No, no, I came for good.! – she said laughing as she let OC go. Her face got more serious.

"I left my jacket here? I can't believe that."

OC just hit her on her shoulder.

"Yeah, that's the most important thing right now. What happened?"

"Oh, it's a long story. Let's just say I don't have ghosts haunting me anymore. Or at least scary ghosts."

"What about…you know…golden boy?" – OC asked carefully.

Max's look got more crucial and a certain glow appeared in them.

"I think everything will be OK. He will need time to cool off, but I think everything will be cool."

OC pulled her into another hug smiling. But her face suddenly converted into a worried expression as she remembered something. She let Max go and went straight to the kitchen. Her hands nervously started to go through the cupboards as Max watched her surprisingly.

"Do you want some coffee, boo? I can make us some coffee. Where the hell is the coffee?" – she mumbled.

Max approached her slowly as her look fell on a familiar jacket on the couch. Her look became more understanding.

"I don't want coffee. Don't worry. Hey, OC?"

"Where the hell is that coffee? I know we had it yesterday! I swear to God this place needs a good clean up.! – OC continued to talk nonsence not even registrating what Max was saying. She didn't hear Max coming from behind as she grabbed her hand.

"Boo, what are you doing?! You scared me to death! You should wear a bell on your…"

"Where is he?" – Max interupted her.

OC showed great anxiety.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know. Where is…"

"I'm here, Max."

Max turned around and saw Logan standing in front of her. All of them were silent for a few seconds. Than OC spoke.

"Look, boo, after you left Logan called and I was a mess, so he realized something was happening. So I told him you left and he came over…"

"You don't have to explain, OC" – Max said. – "It's not such a big deal. You could have told me directly."

She turned toward Logan again.

"Look, I'll leave." – he said silently taking his jacket off the couch. His eyes were sad but still glowing from the fact Max was back. She wasn't his anymore, but she was still here.

"You don't have to bail. Stay if you want. I want to believe that we can still communicate like two normal people." – Max said sincerely. She was in love with this man for a long time. He was her first love. He should still be part of her life. That was her thought. Only present wasn't like that.

Logan turned around and looked at her.

"Look at her. She's so beautiful, and she isn't mine. She thinks we can be friends. Maybe, but not now. I just lost her. I can't stand the fact that she will from now on have that look in her eyes. The look that doesn't reflect mine. The one that doesn't reflect love, our love. She will have him in her eyes from now on and I can't stand that." – Logan thought while that silence lasted.

"Ahm…I have to go, Max. But, I'm glad you're back. " - he said quickly and left.

OC watched that strange encounter and at first she wasn't sure she should say something to stop Logan from going. Although, Max was inviting him to stay, she didn't know was that just friendly gesture. So she remained quiet until the door after Logan finally closed.

"Look, boo.." – OC started to apologize again. – "I'm sorry, but, I didn't know you were coming…"

Max turned around to face OC.

"Why are you apologizing? Come on. This was just a little bit akward situation, not a big deal."

"So, this is really it. No more Logan." – Oc sighed. She wasn't too crazy about him, but he was a good guy. Not like Alec. He was too dangerous for himself and as well for other people.

"Yeah, no more Logan…" – Max sighed as well. Officially, her life as she knew it was over. And she decided to turn another page.

"So? Are you gonna help me?" – she asked OC.

"Help you with what?" – OC asked suspiciously. This didn't sound good from the start.

"Help me get Alec." – Max said determinantly.

I'm sorry this took so long, but you know how it is with the holidays.

So, I hope you like this! Please let me know!


	17. I'm not letting go

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now… A/M

Thanks to:

**Gauri and guest** – thanks for the great review. I hope you will like this one as well. Please let me know!

**Chapter 17 – I'm not letting go**

Max woke up the next morning feeling very relieved. It was a feeling of truth. Her life made more sense now. Although she still wasn't free in a matter that concerns the whole world, her private life was now liberating. Sure, Alec still didn't like her in a way she wanted him to, but there was still hope. She was home. She got out of the bed and went straight into the kitchen where OC had already fixed them some coffee.

"See, I told you, we had coffee around here somewhere. Just don't ask me where I found it." – she said as her face grinned.

"Good enough" – Max said as she took a sip. She waited for a moment before she asked. "So, have you considerd my suggestion?"

OC looked up over her coffee cup. She swalloved her sip as well as the awkward feeling she had.

"You mean that crazy suggestion with me helping you get Alec as your new honey?"

"That's the one". – Max replied.

"To tell you the truth, I haven't thought about it that much, boo. I just hoped you would reconsider as the morning came. "- OC said truthfully.

"So, you think that its a bad idea? – sadness was heard in Max's voice. She was talking to her friend, and for the first time she felt like OC was dead serious with her point of view.

"Look, boo, if you asked me to help you just a few days ago, I would have grabbed both yours and Alec's hands and locked you in a closet, but…look, you can't say to me that you seriously think Alec will forget everything that happened."

"No, I don't think that." – Max raised her voice. "But, he can't stay mad at me forever and one day…"

OC started to laugh and that stopped Max's explanation.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Boo, you would kill him if the situation was the other way around. What makes you think he's so forgiving. Put yourself in his shoes. Would you forgive him in a flash?"

Max fixated her stare on a wall, while she thought about that.

"He won't be mad for good…He can't be mad at me for good. It's the truth that I would be pissed, but he is different…At least I thought he was different." – Suddenly she saw Alec's face in front of her. He was yelling at her that she was a coward, he threw word punches at her and that hurt. She shivered, but quickly pulled herself together.

"I have to try, OC. I will never know if I don't try. And, trust me, nothing he does can make me feel worse that I already do."

OC just kept looking at her. Sure, her friend was never a coward, but this situation pushed every other thing into perspective. She was willing to lay all her feelings in front of a man who hates her.

"_Well, who am I to stop her. "_ – she thought.

"OK, boo, count me in. Just, if Alec gets his crazy mad look on, you're on your own. I'm running like my life depends on it. And, I think it will."

Max smiled and hugged her friend.

"Thank you, thank you , thank you. And you have my blessing to run. Maybe I'll follow you if things get more rough than I thought."

"Well, let's run to work first, or Normal will kill us. And then we will work on our plan. Speaking of which, what exacly is the plan? Or should I say, what will my part be in all of this? "

"I haven't worked all the details out." – Max confessed. – "But, I swear I'll let you know first."

"Well, help me Lord" – OC prayed.

"Don't worry, everything will be just fine. Come on, don't tell me you don't like the intrigue."

OC had somewhat of a sour face.

"Yeah, goody" – she only added as they both left through their apartment.

Alec woke up in his bed feeling very relaxerd although he didn't sleep that much. He rubbed his eyes and while doing so he remembered everything that went on last night. It was like his whole life changed. His past came to him and he grabbed it. Then he lost it in a flash. The one thing he had going on for himself was his friends. And they deserted him as well. He remembered Joshua's words.

"_She stepped on your heart."_

The words were playing in his head like a bad song. He thought his heart was broken a long time ago, and then he found out he still had it. That was not the way things were supposed to be. "I liked the way things were before. Me messing around, not keeping ties with any one. Why did I stay here?" – Alec asked himself as he remembered he had to go to work.

"She will be there." – a thought occurred to him. – "I'm a good liar, but I don't know how I will react in this situation. And what will Sketchy and OC think. Well, Sketchy will be as ignorant as always, but OC…she knows everything, about Rachel and as well as Max. She will see right through me."

Alec got out of bed and put his clothes on. As he buttoned up his shirt his gaze fell on his image in the mirror. He looked fine. No sign of pain, no sign of anxiety. Can he lie the entire time or will his look betray him.

"Well, Alec, go and do what you know best. Lie like hell."

He got his jacket and went outside. The streets were packed with people and everyone went on with their lives. That seemed strange to Alec. He watched those faces driving to work. It was like nothing had changed, but he was totally different.

He didn't realize he had already got to work. He abruptly stopped his ninja like something had hit him. His eyes were fixated on the front door. There they were. OC, Sketchy and Max. They were laughing and with each laugh he got more angry.

"Look at her. She's smiling like she has no worries on her mind. I should have left this stinking town. What am I saying? I can still leave. Sure, Joshua will be mad at me, but he will understand someday. He has his little fella with him. He doesn't need me. " – he started to turn on his ninja, but it seemed like the sound alarmed everyone, cause all three of them turned to him.

Max's eyes grew serious.

"Oh, my God, there he is."

OC also had a panicked look on her face.

"Well, let's prepare ourselves for running. That boo doesn't seem that happy. Why is he just standing there?"

Only Sketchy didn't know what was going on.

"Hey, man, why are you standing there like a statue. Come on, I have to tell you about that date." – he yelled.

"Oh, great." – Alec thought sarcastically. He was in no position to run now that everyone had seen him. He would turn into a coward, and he didn't like that.

"Yeah, I'm coming. Just having some problems with the engine." – he lied as he pretended to work on it. He was kneeling and he didn't realize that Max had approached him.

"Do you need any help?" – she asked carefully.

He looked up at her and swallowed.

"Shit, I can't do this. Look at her. She looks so good, and I still need to hate her." – he thought.

"No, you helped me enough." – he said sarcastically as he got up. He had that height thing on his side although he didn't feel that big when he was really standing in front of her.

He started to walk toward his friend leaving Max just standing there.

"Sketchy, my man, tell me, am I not the best friend you ever had? – he yelled. – "I mean, who else would leave you with two beautiful women."

"You are a God!. – Sketchy said as they started to walk into the building. – "Let me tell you, they were gorgeous. I mean…- Sketchy continued to talk, but Alec's eyes met OC's. He nodded to her and she nodded back. That was it. Not another word. But, that was all OC needed. She read him like a book. And she didn't know how to tell Max what she read. She looked at her friend looking miserable and she approached her.

"Don't." – Max simply said.

"Don't what? "

"Don't say I told you so."

OC took a deep breath trying to find the right words. She was always blunt, but she knew she could really hurt her friend now. She was very vulnerable. And than she would be the same as Alec.

"I was going to say, we should get inside or we will get shity assingments for today. And I'm not in the mood for going to Sector 5."

They walked into the building hearing Normals voice.

"Come on, people, move it! Surprisingly enough, we don't have that many deliveries so far."

Everyone started to cheer thinking Normal would give them the day off.

"But, all of you have to stay here. Newbies will go do the deliveries and you "old people" will stay here and clean this place up, and that means you will have to wash it thoroughly. Understood?".

The sound of objections was all that could be heard.

"I can't believe this. He's making us clean this dump. I would rather go do the deliveries" – Sketchy said.

Alec wasn't happy as well.

"Great, now I have to spend my entire day here with her. Maybe I can weasel myself out of this."

"Hey, Norm" Can I go if you don't need me?"

"No, no, Golden boy, you will stay as well. Of course you don't have to do phyisical work. Just watch over them. I have to go do some paperwork." – Normal said patting Alec on the back as he left.

Max stood there watching their conversation. As opposed to Alec, she didn't mind staying with him. OC approached her.

"Well, boo, if you ever had some sex dreams with Alec being your superior, knock yourself out. Cause I think he will have a ball with this controlling thing."

"Very funny. I don't know what to do. You saw how he blew me off in the parking lot. "

OC looked at her friend. She was starting to get really mad. First she wants him, now she's thinking of letting everything go.

"Look, boo, decide already! Do you want him?"

Max took one glance at Alec as she saw him smiling at his new position. He was ordering some guys to wash the toilets. She smiled a little.

"Yeah, I want him." – Max whispered.

"Well, then , I don't want to hear this hesitation in your voice. Understood? Sure, you can't just go and grab him, but lurk a little. Wait for the right occasion."

Max simply nodded.

"Now, let's go and get our assignments from Alec." – OC said and started to walk toward him.

"Hey, boo, what you have planned for us?" – she asked smiling.

Alec looked at them both and said, "Well, I already sent someone to wash the toilets…but I can always give them something else to do."

"Funny, comedian boy, what else needs to be done?"

Alec thought for a second and although he wanted to give Max the most degrading thing possible, he couldn't think of any.

"You can clean over there where the TV is. And that means moving the couch and cleaning under it as well. – Alec smiled. He thought for a second Max would object but she simply walked towards the couch and started to clean.

His stare was fixated on her as she kneeled and started to move the couch. Her hair was falling over her face and she looked beautiful.

OC looked at him as he watched Max.

"_Well, I'll be damned. Boy is really in love."_

"Well, I'll go over and help her."

Alec woke up from his day dream and looked at OC.

"Yeah, you do that. I'll go in the back room to see if the filing cabinets needs to be organized."

"OK." – OC said as she watched Alec leave. She walked over to Max and sat on the couch smiling.

Max looked up.

"Why are you sitting there smiling. You could help me, you know.?"

"We're not going to clean this.

"We're not?" – Max said stunned.

"No. We will go organize the filling cabinets. That is, you will." – OC said contently.

"What are you babbling about?" – Max asked not understanding any of this.

"Your boy is there. Go help him."

"So he can throw my ass out? I don't think so."

"I have the feeling this is going to be different. Like you said, what do you have to lose?"

Max looked at the closed door trying to decide what to do. She was still insecure, but OC was right. Waiting won't change anything. She knows a couple of things about holding a grudge. Time really doesn't help that much.

She stood up and started to walk over. She knocked on the door.

"Yeah?" – Alec said.

She opened the door slowly and she saw Alec with some girl laughing. She knew her from work, but she didn't even know her name. Alec stopped laughing as soon as he saw Max standing in front of him. Her look didn't show the pain she held inside so he simply asked, "What do you want?" Max regained her composure and her look got more secure. "I came to organize the cabinets. If I'm not in the way?"

Alec looked at her not believing what he was hearing. A Normal person would just have stayed out of his way, but not Max. He decided to play her game.

"Sure, me and Mia won't interrupt you."

"Fine." . Max said as she walked in and closed the door.

"Fine." – Alec responded.

Max turned her back on him and opened one of the cabinets. She was in no position to see Alec and Mia, but she could here Mia babbling on and on about some stupid things and Alec not saying a word. She smiled at herself.

"_Well, Alec, I'm not leaving you alone. Not with her, not with anyone else."_

A/N - I hope you like this! Let me know, PLEASE! Kiss


	18. Memories are back

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now… A/M

Chapter 17 – Memories are back

Alec tried to listen to what Mia was saying, but his attention kept flying towards Max.  
"She's driving me crazy! Why is she here? She is supposed to be avoiding me, and here she is, always in my face. I don't get it…" – Alec had to admit to himself that he was confused. He didn't understand any of it. But, in a way that excided him as well. He wasn't that fond of predictable people. They were boring to him. And Max was totally different.  
Mia kept babbling while Max was pretending to be occupied with papers.  
"I can't believe I'm doing this…I feel like an idiot! I mean, I'm taking every occasion to be in the same room as him. And he is here with a girl. An idiot, but a female idiot." - She turned her attention over to Mia who raised her voice, "So, anyway, I was, like, who are you to tell me what to do? You're not my boss! You now how men can be sometimes, right? What am I saying, you are a man! Ha ha ha!" – Mia started to laugh hysterically.  
"Idiot! – Max muttered quietly, but Alec heard her of course. Although he was also having trouble listening to what Mia was saying and agreed with Max's statement, he needed to say something. "What did you say?" Max turned to him realizing he had heard her. "Well, I said you are a man…" – Mia continued. "Not, you, Mia" – Alec yelled then lowered his voice. – "This one here seems to have something to say."  
"This one?" – Max thought to herself. – "Unbelievable…"  
" I don't have anything to say. I was just doing my job."  
"How come you and I have totally different points of view to what your job really is?" – Alec implied to everything Max has done, and not just this.  
" Well, I guess that is because we lived in two different worlds over the years."  
Alec kept staring at her his anger rising. He thought his debate with Max was over, but she wanted more.  
"Mia, leave us, please." – Alec said not even moving his stare from Max, who matched his stare.  
"OK." – Mia simply said and left. The door closed behind her very quickly so OC couldn't see anything.  
"Oh, crap, I didn't know he was with someone in there! I screwed up everything! – OC said to herself not realizing Sketchy had approached her.  
"Screwed up what? Why are you staring at that door? Have you finally lost it? Or are you trying to get out of this ridiculous work by playing insane?"  
"Shut up, fool. Just, forget it. Let's go. You're gonna help me move the couch." – OC said pulling Sketchy by the hand. Only he had something else in mind.  
"Let me just ask Alec something and I'll be right…" – he started to walk over to the door, but OC tightened her grip and yelled:  
"NO! I mean, I really need your help. Talk to your friend later, boo. Alright?" – OC hoped he would not ask any questions. Sketchy took one last glance towards the door and although he felt something was off, he decided to play stupid as always. The advantage of playing a fool is that everyone seems to ignore him when something's up and he liked that.  
"Cool."

Max stood in front of Alec with her arms crossed. Her face showed no fear and she didn't feel any. Nothing good comes from being afraid. And although Alec had somewhat of a mad look on his face, that didn't bother her. All of the sudden his face softened. But he had a tired look on his face.  
"Why are you doing this, Max?" – he asked.  
Her firm stare also softened as she reflected his glance in her eyes.  
"Doing what?"  
"This! Doing this! I thought you were going to ignore me and stay out of my way...You know what, now that I'm actually saying this out load it sounds ridiculous. When did you ever stay out of my business?" – he asked but mainly speaking to himself.  
"Look, Alec…" – she started.  
"Please, just don't explain. I don't need that. I heard way too many explanations already."  
Max looked at him not knowing what he was saying, not knowing both OC and Joshua spoke to him about his feelings.  
"Fine, I'm not going to explain. I just want to say that you were right. Me running away would be a mistake. Now I see that."  
Alec showed no apprehension on his face.  
"Fine, can you go now?"  
"Why do you want me gone so much?" – she suddenly yelled scaring herself as well. – "I don't wanna leave."  
"Then I'll leave." – was Alec's last remark as he left grabbing his jacket in the process.  
The door closed and Max hit one of the cabinets making a lot of noise. Suddenly OC burst in.  
"Boo, what's the matter?"  
"Look, OC, this was a mistake. He isn't ready to forgive me yet." – Max explained throwing herself into the chair.  
"Look, boo, trust me on this one. Waiting won't make anything better. You could grow even farther apart. Even hate is a feeling. Ignorance is…nothing. Come on, let's go do some chores and will talk some more." – OC said as she pulled her friend from the chair.  
"Fine. But, let's just do the work. I'm not in the mood for talking."  
"OK. We'll talk at Crash tonight." – OC said and started to walk out of the office.  
"Crash?" – Max stopped in her tracks. Flashes of last night popped into her mind. Alec playing the piano, he with his shirt off, his staring at her.  
"Yes, Crash. You know that place where we go every….oh, I get it now! You're afraid your boo will be there, right?"  
"Actually, I'm afraid he won't be there because of me. I mean everything went on right there."  
"Well, we'll see. " – OC simply said. – "And if he comes, that could be a good sign. Maybe the place will give him some memories."  
Max thought about that for a second and she knew that she will certainly have something to think about. Crash is like a trigger for her memory.  
"You know what, OC." – she smiled. – "I think you may be on to something."  
"You see, I told you can count on me. But, I will still run like hell if things get rough."  
"Understood." – Max replied as they walked together out of the room. Max looked around the place, but Alec was no where to be found.  
"Well, let's hope you come tonight, Alec."

A/N – well, do you like it? Ha, do you? Come on, tell me what you think! I know you want to!


	19. One thing that made you love me

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now… A/M

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Thanks to:

**Kristibella** - Really glad you like my story. I hope you will like this chapter also! I'm kind of proud of it myself...(just kidding) Let me know, OK?  
**Screwy** - Sorry, I forgot to thank you for the previous reviw. I hope you will like this...  
**Gauri **- I know it was a long wait. Hope these couple of chapters I put on excuses me. Hope you like this!  
**Aur** - I hope you like the way Max handled things. I didn't want to make her out of character.  
**

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**

**Chapter 18 - One thing that made you love me**

Alec was lying on the bed drinking scotch. His stare was fixated on some tv show, but he didn't agknowledge it much. The light from the TV didn't reach his attention. Not knowing what to do, he just kept turning the glass in his hands lifting it once in a while to take a sip. It seemed nothing could break this process, but when his cell rang he jumped. But just a little. He was still trained to be prepared for any surprises. He picked it up and not even looking at who's calling he turned it off.

"_I don't want to talk to anyone."_ – he thought taking another sip. It was probably Normal who wanted to know where he disappeared to today. The day was almost over and he spent it all in his room. It was dark outside and the only light was the one from the TV, but even that made Alec close his eyes. The light probably hadn't had any real influence on him, but his eyes remained closed. Living in the dark was so much easier. It was kind of like living in Manticore. He was protected from the real world most of his life and the authority decided what he had to know and what not. In a way they protected him from emotional cruelty. He needed that now. Not Manticore, just that feeling of being safe.

With his eyes still closed he reached for the bottle but it was strangely light. He opened one eye to see that the bottle is empty.

"_Oh, great. Now, what will I do? I don't have anymore liquor in this place anymore."_ – he thought. _– "I could always go to Crash…"._ Of course he had a problem with that idea, but he needed to drink.

"_Oh, what to hell. I come in, pay for a couple of bottles and leave. No biggie."_

He grabbed his jacket and headed for Crash.

At the same time, Max was very nervous sitting on the bathroom floor. She held her knees up, and rocked herself back and fourth. Like a little baby. She found out that that comforted her.

"_OK, this scene is very familiar"_ – she thought remembering her time in the Crash bathroom. She decided to tell Alec the truth, but then decided against it.

"_What would have happen if I had told him the truth then? He would still hate me…that wouldn't change. But, we shared a moment then. He released himself from Rachel and I let go of Logan. Why do things have to be so complicated?"_ – she asked herself sighing.

Suddenly, she heard a knock on the door.

"Hey, boo! Ready?" – it was OC.

"Oh, shit!" – she muttered as she jumped to her feet again. She started to fix her hair a bit yelling back:

"Um…I'll be right back. Just one more minute."

"OK, hon, but hurry up. We will have no place to sit if we come late. And I don't plan to stand the entire night." – the door flew open as she kept babbling and she jumped.

"Damn, boo, you almost gave me a heartattack. I thought you said it would take a minute?"

"You forget that I'm not like ordinary people. A minute is a few seconds smaller in my perspective." – Max smiled.

"Right, I keep forgetting that." – she smiled back. – "Well, are you ready to go get your boo?"

"Not when you put it like that! I just hope that he will come." – she said as they both put on their jackets. Max wore tight lether pants and a blood red top. She had somewhat a dishevelled look going on, and she looked fatal.

"Well, here goes nothing." – Max said outloud as she closed the door behind her. OC didn't say anything. She kept looking at her friend acting nervous because of a guy, and she didn't want to make it worse by saying something wrong.

Alec walked into Crash very slowly. Sure, the place was crowded, but he walked incrediable slow. His eyes were scanning the place trying to see if someone familiar was here. A few people behind him started to swear, cause he was so slow.

"Jesus, man, come on! I'm not planning on spending the evening on the stairs!"

Alec turned around and facing him calmly said:

"If you don't shut up, you will never come down these stairs." – he wasn't angry, he was just feeling very exhausted and that guy didn't help.

"Fine, keep your shirt on. Christ! Can you believe this guy…- he started to complain to his date who found herself staring at Alec. He was still quite of a male specimen. But, Alec disappeared taking himself to the bar. Before sitting down, he took another look around the place, just to make sure no one he knew was here.

"Hey, man, what's up?" – Sid asked him.

"Oh, not much." – Alec simply answered.

"Listen, thanks for locking up. I found my key and everything seemed to be in place."

Alec looked at him remembering last night. He also remembered that he forgot all about the key, but Max took care of that.

"No prob, man. Glad to help. Look, can you give me two bottles of Scotch to go." – Alec felt the need to escape from this place. Everything seemed to remind him of last night and he couldn't block out the memories. First just this place, then Sid.

"Yeah, no problem. Let me buy you a drink first. I managed to get to my date last night right on time and had a great time. I owe you and Max that. Where is she, by the way? We have a special night tonight."

"I don't know. And I don't care. – was Alec's answer. He stopped for a second. – "What kind of special night?"

"Didn't you see the poster? A guy is coming to play tonight. He's supposed to be very good. A couple of friends recommended him, actually."

Alec had a weird feeling about all this and he felt anxiety approaching.

"What does he play?" – he asked below his voice.

"A piano. I think it will be OK. There are a lot of couples here just waiting for romance." – Sid said with a wink.

Alec got off his chair getting his money out of his jacket.

"Well, I'm not in the mood for that. I'll take your offer for a free drink some other day, OK?" – he said putting his money on the bar.

"As you wish." – Sid said shrugging. – "Let me get that Scotch for you. It's in the basement. I'll be right back." – he said and went downstairs.

"Yeah, just hurry up." – Alec said sitting back in his chair. – _"I don't want to stay here a minute longer than I have to." _

Again he felt an attack of anxiety approaching but now he knew exactly what was the cause of it. It was the same feeling he had last night. Even with his back turned he knew. She was here.

"_Oh, great. Come on, Sid, where the hell are you?"_ – he thought to himself not even turning – _"I know she's here. And I could have missed her if I had only left a few minutes ago. Maybe she won't notice me. Please, God, just don't let her notice me. I don't need that tonight. Not here. Just not here."_

Max entered Crash with OC on her arm, also feeling very restless. As opposed to Alec she found with her sight what she was looking for the first time.

"OC, he's here." – Max whispered squeezing OC's arm not realizing her grip was just a little bit to strong.

"Damn, boo, you're gonna break my neck. I hate this thing where I' m the one who gets hurt everytime you're nervous." – she tried to be sarcastic and trying to relax the situation.

"Sorry for that." – she said taking her coat off. They found a place to sit and Max hadn't taken her eyes off Alec not for a second.

"He's not gonna disappear if you look the other way, you know?" – OC said with a smirk.

"Very funny." – Max sat down fixing her top. - I'd just rather not make a fool of myself with him anymore. She really looked great and a few guys were already checking her out. She just didn't notice them. But, OC did.

"How about you go and get us a pitcher of beer? Or the hunting will begin."

That got Max's attention.

"Why aren't you going to get us a beer and what hunting?"

"Oh, I finally got your attention! Good for me! I mean all of these horny men, drooling over you."

Max turned around seeing a couple of not bad looking guys cheking her out. Too bad she wasn't interested in them also.

"Look, boo, this is the last warning I'm gonna tell you. If you don't go over there, you will be sorry and you will feel like crap. If you do go over there, he will probably leave. Now, I know that doesn't sound that reasuring…

"You think?" – Max asked ironically.

"I know." – OC sighed. – "But, if he decides to leave, you will have to stop him. Not by arguing with him, but you will have to remind him of that one thing that made him love you in the first place. Now, I don't know what that is and you probably don't know what that is. But, you will have to find out."

Max haden't said a word, she got up from her chair and started to walk over. The guys were still staring at her, but she didn't even give them a glance.

She got to the bar and sat next to Alec.

"Hey."

His eyes were focused on the door that led to the basement. He thought maybe if he focused hard enough, Sid would come up, and he could leave.

But, the door stayed closed,

"What can I do to make him talk?" – she asked herself. But as soon as she saw him getting up, she knew. No fear, no nothing. Only the truth.

"This place can really make you think, right?" – she asked him openly. – "I mean this bar, that chair, that piano. I told you you were my friend right there; yow were sitting on that chair. And I lied. Friends don't feel shivers when they see each other. When they're standing close to one another." – she felt her eyes water, but she repressed her emotions. She needed to speak clearly.

"Let's see what's next. There are the stairs where I stood when you were looking at me like you have eyes only for me. It WAS that look. And…there is the piano where you played for me. I thought you were thinking about Rachel. And you were. But, I know something else. You played me a song. You played it just for me. You can't deny that. That's the place I touched your hands like they touched my heart while you were playing…"

"Shut up" – Alec ordered her. He looked at her and tried not to show any of the raw emotion he was feeling.

She had a multitude of emotions running through her. She felt anger, and sadness. She was also confused and hurt by his coldness.

"Maxie, please be quiet." – he whispered again.

Max looked at him her heart beating hard. Her breaths were deep like there was a shortage of oxygen in the air.

"Maxie." – she thought feeling a sob catch in her throat looking straight at him. – "He called me Maxie…"


	20. Pull me back in

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction 

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now… A/M

* * *

**Thanks to:**

**Ro - I'm sooo glad you like my story. I'm kind of proud of it myself. :) Hope you'll like this chapter also. I wanted to add some more suspence.**

**m/a fan – I know Alec is sad, but I had to change his character a little, cause we all know how he changes when emotions stir up.**

**hphotshot5 – thanks for your review. I'm afraid, I'm not planning to bring others to the story. This is focused on Max and Alec. I will check your stories as soon as I find time. :)**

**Kristibella – hey, I'm glad you like it. I know I left things hanging in the air, but this chapter will make all up. Hope you like it. Let me know.**

**suenooneus – Well, here's more confused Alec for you. :) Why do women fall for those types? Well, I hope you will like this.**

**SGOU – hey, I'm glad you reviewed. I think that it was about time for Alec to become worn out by Max. So, soon…**

**Gauri – Great to hear from you again. I'm also busy, so I perfectly understand. I hope you will like this chapter.**

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** _Chapter 19 – Pull me back in_**

"_Maxie… Maxie…"_ - The words were ringing in her ears. She was afraid to move, to speak. Alec was sitting in place as well, not moving an inch. All the noise disappeared from the room, for both of them.

"_I did it…"_ – Max thought to herself feeling somewhat glad, but also terrified. She wasn't sure if her words had the effect she wanted. – _"I told him the truth, the entire truth." _

"_Oh, my God, what have I done?"_ – the next thought hit her. – _"I've just placed my heart in front of him. Why is he not saying anything? Damn it Alec, say something…please say something."_

Suddenly her conscience started to play tricks on her.

"_I shouldn't have said anything. I reminded him of something that doesn't exist for him. Or maybe once did, but now my actions erased those emotions. I should've stayed quiet.""_

She turned around to face him, her eyes seeing a man who showed no emotions. Alec just kept staring at the basement door.

"_Why couldn't she be quiet? Why did she have to remind me so vividly of what happened? Oh, who am I kidding? Like I needed a reminder. Every single detail is tattooed in my mind. _

A couple of seconds went bye before she spoke again.

"I'm sorry, Alec. I was wrong. I shouldn't have said anything." – Max said simply, but there was no actual regret in her voice. She knew she wasn't truly sorry, cause she was standing behind every word.

Alec didn't move. But, he was listening to her.

"_Why is she doing this? She's pulling me back in just to push me again. Am I just a game for her? Why can't I move? My legs won't move…"_

He lifted his head up, forcing himself to finally look at her.

"Max, don't apologize…"- he hesitated for a second cause in front of him was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Not being able to restrain himself, his eyes traced her features, her hair, face. Without a word he scanned her so innocently that she felt like that, innocent. She wasn't a warrior, just an innocent girl.

His behaviour gave her some more strength.

"Alec, I'm gonna touch your hand now. " – she said surprising him and herself as well. – "I'm gonna touch it like I did that night. Just that, OK? You don't have to say anything. I know that words aren't our thing. This whole saying our emotions out load. So, I'm gonna touch you. And if you think that you can get past the hate you're feeling for me, show me. You don't have to say anything. I will know…"

She moved her hand and reached for his, which was resting on his knee. There was nothing violent in the act. She intertwined her fingers with his looking straight at his hand. She felt like she could read his movements before he actually made it. She also didn't realize that Alec had closed his eyes. Only there wasn't the light from his room. He was blinded by the girl next to him.

"_She's pulling me back in…Why can't I just relinquish myself?"_ – the feeling he was feeling was almost paralyzing. He couldn't move his fingers. His hand just laid there with hers on top.

The amount of pain Max was feeling at that time was almost unbearable. Now, she was the one who wanted to get away. He wasn't reacting and that hurt her.

"_Alec, please, a little grip, please!"_ – she begged inside but he didn't move.

Her head was nodding in understanding. She lost him. She lost him forever. Taking a deep breath, she wanted to pull her hand back, but Alec desperately squeezed back. Without a word he gave her the answer she wanted to hear.

His grip was strong and desperate. She was the only one who really knew him and he didn't want to let go.

A tear streamed down Max's face falling onto her lap.

"_Come, on, Max, pull yourself together. He can't see you cry…"_ - she wiped the rest of the tear off with her other hand.

All of sudden the basement door flew open and Alec jerked his hand away from Max's.

"Here you go, man. I had a little accident down there. I was almost buried under a bunch of boxes. You wouldn't believe what a mess it is downstairs." – Sid started to laugh not noticing Max. When he finally realized that was her, he almost choked.

"Max…hey! Well, don't you look astonishing? Damn! "Man, look at her" – Sid said to Alec who was trying to regain his focus.

"Yeah…" – were Alec's only words.

"Sid…" – Max spoke not knowing exactly what to say. Then she remembered. – "Hey, did you find the key alright?"

"Yeah, thanks. So what can I get you? And Alec, here's your scotch to go." - Sid said placing two bottles on the bar.

Alec grabbed both of them and stood up not looking at Max who was astonished. She was looking straight at him, but he didn't look back.

"To go?" – she asked quietly - "You're not staying?"

"Nah, I've got to go. Sid, thanks a lot." – he forced himself to look back at Max only to see disappointment in her eyes.

"Well, if you think you have to go…then go." – Max said not backing away.

"_I'm not gonna show you I'm hurting Alec. That's one thing I won't do."_ – she thought.

"I need to go…see ya" – Alec said quietly hesitating a bit. In one way, he wanted to hear her ask him to stay. The other part of him knew that's not Max's behaviour.

Nodding he turned around and left.

OC looked at the entire show feeling very sorry for Max. She got up from her chair and walked over.

"Hey,boo, you OK? – she asked as she sat in Alec's place.

"Sure, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" – she tried to smile only to fail miserably. – Not convincing.

"Not really, boo. So, what happened? I saw everything, but I was deprived of a soundtrack. So, tell me, did you do it?"

"Well, I thought I did. I mean, I told him he didn't have to say anything. But if he felt the same as me, then to squeeze my hand." – she smiled at the thought. – "And he did."

OC was shocked at this. She wasn't that sure that Alec would ease up.

"OK…so why are you still here?"

"What do you mean?" – Max was confused.

"Listen, boo, you told him you like him. He told you he likes you too… In a way. You can't just leave it at that. You have to bring that ball home!" – OC shouted.

"I have to bring what?" – Max asked trying to understand OC. Somehow she was getting more confused with each sentence.

"I have no idea. It's something you say. What I meant was, it's you that has to finish this tonight. Go to him."

Max's face was emotionless. She wasn't prepared to have this conversation.

"Have you lost you mind? I'm not going over there! I'm not putting my heart on the floor so he can step on it."

"It's your call. But, you already did the hard part. Now you need to hear the words." – OC said gently placing her hand on Max's hand.

"Thanks, but, I don't think so."

"As you wish." – OC gave up. – "Come on, let's go back to our seats."

Max got up just in time to hear Sid's announcement.

"Ladies and gentleman, I'm very glad to announce one of the best piano players in the country, Michael Davies!"

Max stood in place seeing this man sitting behind the piano. OC stood next to her, trying to read her face.

Michael started to play, and the lights went dim and Max continued to stay in place. The expression of discovery covered her face.

"Ahm…OC?"

OC smiled knowingly grabbing Max's hand.

"Go."

Max smiled at her friend running towards the exit. She needed to be somewhere else…

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**A/N - Well, did you like it? Let me know! I promise more revelations in future chapters. :)**


	21. I don't need a friend

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now… A/M

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Thanks to: 

**Ro** - I'm so glad you like my story. I hope you will review this chapter as well to tell me what you think so far.

**Kristibella** - I hope this wasn't a long wait. I'm trying to put another chapter as soon as it's done. What do you think about this one? Enough suspence:) And the Logan question is answered. Thanks for the compliment. It means a world to me.X

**suenooneus** - I'm glad you like this kind of Alec. I also think there is something cute about a confused man. Especially if you know you're the reason he's so confused. Hope you like this one. And OC was bound to help. She has that wibe in her. :)

**SGOU** - I think this chapter answers your question about Max leaving Crash. :) And I hope you like the answer. And if you liked open Max from Crash, you're gonna LOVE this one. :) Tell me what you think.

**JeNsEnS wifey ChAdZ lover** - I'm so glad I touched you with my last chapter. It's a great compliment. I hope this chapter has at least similar effect.

**Gauri** - I agree with you that Max was supposed to say that words aren't their thing. It really seems that way, doesn't it? I tried to change that, but only a little in this chapter. Tell me if it's too much.

**Aur** - I LOVE Evanescence. Te song is really great. I thought it was time to push those two a little bit further. This chapter proves that. I hope...

**And a special thanks to: my beta Lakergirl08 - I know this is the first time I'm thaning you here, but I wanted to emphasize your importance:) Hope you're well!

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**_Chapter 20 – I don't want you as a friend…_**

Max jumped on her ninja, her heart racing. She was a little bit tired from running up the stairs, but now that she was out she felt without air. Her emotions caught up within her.

_«Oh, God, what am I doing?"_ – she thought. – _"Where am I going? I must've lost my mind. I'm on the run for a guy who has every right to hate me."_

But then her thoughts went elsewhere.

"_He doesn't hate me. I know that. I just have to make him see that completely."_ – Max thought, starting her ninja in the process. The sound was tearing the air apart, but not enough so Max didn't hear someone calling her name. She turned her ninja off, turning around. She saw a very drunk Logan standing in front of her.

"Maxie, Maxie, Maxie. Aren't you just a sight for sore eyes? Or drunk eyes." – Logan babbled while dragging himself towards Max. He was barely standing on his feet.

"Logan. What are you doing?" – Max asked impatiently. She needed to be elsewhere and she knew Logan was just playing her.

"Well, I was just getting myself a drink. Care to join me?"

"I think you had quite a few, Logan. I have to go." – Max said preparing herself to turn her ninja back on.

But Logan got in front of her, blocking her way.

"Where are you going?" – he asked her seriously watching her eyes.

"Logan, move." – Max said determinately.

"Or what? You're gonna move me yourself? Unfortunately, one touch from you and I'm dead. – he said. – "Well, maybe that would be for the best."

Max was getting angrier by the second. She knew he was just trying to pull some sympathy from her and he was feeling sorry for himself.

"I'm sick of this, Logan. I'm tired of convincing you that you matter. You have to do that yourself. Everything is not about you. We all have a place in this world. Only yours and mine aren't the same one. Now move. I have to go."

Logan watched her reaction and he was surprised. He was expecting some sympathy from her, but there wasn't any. So he held his hands in the air showing her that she can go.

"He is one lucky bastard." – Logan said implying Alec.

Max simply looked at him and smiled.

"I'm the one who's lucky."

She started her motorcycle and took off, leaving Logan without any guilt.

She knew the way to Alec's house so she hurried trying to find the right words in her head.

"_I'll just knock on his door and when he opens it I'll try to invite myself in. What if he doesn't let me in? Well, tough, I'll just barge in. He has to listen to me. Things can't get any worse than they already are. Oh, here we go…"_ – she stopped in front of Alec's building. She looked up seeing the lights were dim.

"_Maybe he's not home…"_ – she thought, but than she saw Alec's ninja parked in front. – _"Here he is."_

She entered the building walking to his door. Of course, she wasn't expecting for Alec to throw himself into her arms and smother her with kisses either. But she knew he didn't truly hate her. Maybe he will be willing to forgive and forget. Maybe they had a chance at starting this whole thing over? That's what she was hoping for. A second chance.

She knocked on the door placing her ear to the door so she could hear if there was any movement inside. But, there wasn't. She knocked once again, but there was still no response. Max sighed at this attempt and rested her head on the door. Suddenly the door opened and she landed on her stomach.

"Damn it" – she muttered lifting her head only to see a pair of boots standing in front of her. Her gaze traveled upwards revealing the owner of the boots.

Alec was looking at her not knowing what to think.

"_What is she doing here?"_ – he thought.

"Max." – he slowly stated. – "Comfortable?"

Max scrambled to her feet looking Alec straight in the eye.

"Hey. Guess you're wondering why am I here?"

"The thought had crossed my mind."

"Well, I decided we need to talk." – Max started determinately, but Alec stopped her.

"You decided?"

She sighed thinking how her strong approach won't work this time.

"I want to talk to you."

"Well, is this going to be a short conversation or do you want to come in?" – Alec asked as he motioned with his hand for her to come in.

She nodded as she walked completely into his apartment.

"Thanks."

Alec closed the door very slowly as he wanted to delay this conversation as long as he could. He was still holding the bottle in his hands, but he put it down before turning back to Max.

"So? What is it?" – he asked.

Max gazed into his hazel eyes trying to find the strength in them.

"I found them." – she said.

Alec expected more, but she stopped while breathing heavily. He decided to play along.

"You found what?"

"The words. I found the words." – Max said as Alec remembered their conversation from Crash. She was right back then. Neither of them was very good with words and he knew that.

"Let me ask you something first." – Alec whispered.

"What?"

"Why did you do it?"

"Why did I do what? – There were a couple of things that came to her mind.

"Hurt me like that. I thought you at least thought of me as a friend…"

"I never meant to hurt you." – she stopped him.

"Well, you did."

"I know." – Max whispered looking down feeling her cheeks burning. – "I'm so sorry.

"Well, I don't want to talk about that. It's over. It's done. It's forgotten." – Alec quickly said. He wasn't ready to play out this scenario once again. He thought she had something different to say, but he was wrong.

"Is this it? You're sorry? We already had this conversation."

"That's not it. I mean, it is, but it's not all of it. I wanted to ask you if there's a chance for us?"

Alec looked at her in surprise. She was standing in front of him asking him if there's a chance for them. This was really happening. It wasn't just his dream.

"Max…" – he started gently trying not to sound very harsh.

"No, shut up." – Max stopped him. – "Let me just say this while I have the strength, OK?"

She took a deep breath as she walked over to the window. The rain started to fall and that distracted her for a second. She was looking at the raindrops like they were trying to tell her something. It was like she was watching as time went by. They were falling and she was standing in the same place. She needed to change that. She turned around to face Alec who was just watching her. She was the most beautiful girl he ever saw, and he still felt like he was feeling something that was forbidden to him.

"I ran into Logan tonight." – she started seeing Alec shifting. – "He was drunk and he was playing his old self pity act. But he said something interesting. He said you're lucky. I understood one thing then. In a way he was right. You're no longer in Manticore, you have a job, your boss likes you" – she smiled at the thought but continued. – "You have good friends. I know I made a mistake with interfering. But, you have to understand, that's what friends do. They interfere. They help you see that you need someone who you can rely on. Only I failed at that. I didn't make you see that."

Alec felt strange. With every word she entered his heart more. He was truly starting to appreciate the power of words. But his pride was still strong.

He didn't say anything, so Max continued as she turned her eyes back to the rain.

"You know what? I'm not truly sorry. I mean, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings and I'm sorry you feel this way now, but I'm not sorry for getting to know one part of your life. You're always playing cool, but the fact that I know you loved once makes me feel like you're human. Not a soldier. And that matters. I feel I can believe in a person who loved at least once."

It was a shame Max was turned the other way, cause Alec's lips whispered the word "twice" and she didn't hear that.

"So." – Max faced him. – "This is the reason why I want another chance."

"You want me as a friend." – Alec stated. – "Well, sorry, Max, but I don't want you as a friend."

The words stung Max's heart.

"So, you can't get pass all the hate?"

Alec smiled at her thinking how she was getting everything wrong. He knew one thing. She passed a high barrier by coming to him and he needed to do at least one thing.

"No, I said I don't want you as a friend. You were right back at Crash. Friends don't look at each other like that." – he looked at her trying to see if his words were making their purpose. And they did.

"Well, it's good to know I was right about something." – she smiled feeling very nervous. His words had an impact on her as well as hers had an impact on him.

He smiled back.

"Yes, that's a first."

They were looking at each other like they were seeing each other for the first time. It was a look of two young people who are finally at the same place at the right time. Time is often missed by people and they regret the lack of actions. "What if's" are always in their minds. But, these two caught their time. With that the rain stopped.

"So, now what?" – Max asked.

That was a wake up call for Alec. He needed to figure this thing out once and for all. Will pride take over him once again? His inner battle wasn't hidden from Max who kept watching him feeling very scared that he would change his mind and kick her out.

She came a little closer placing one hand on his shoulder.

"Alec? Don't push me out again. " – she whispered.

A/N - I hope you're liking this so far. I worked long on this chapters. There were a few versions and I hope I chose the right one. Let me know! x


	22. I love you

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now… A/M

I want to thank **all of the readers** of this story…I hope you enjoyed reading this as well as I did writing it.

Special thanks to my beta **Lakergirl08**, who was very patient with me. Thank you a lot! I'm currently considering on writing another story, but not DA. My friend is a big West wing fan (Josh/Donna) and she asked me to write something about her favorite non-couple. Of course I will write more about DA, but probably closer to summer.

So, not to sound pathetic, I'm leaving you with the final chapter….

**Chapter 21 – I love you…**

"Alec?" - Max whispered seeing he wasn't responding. – "Are you OK?"

Alec placed his hand over hers in silence. Neither of them could neglect the chemistry they had between them. Max was looking straight at him and he was staring at the floor, like the answer to his struggle lies in the carpet.

Max touched his cheek gently as she turned his face toward hers.

"Look at me." – she whispered. – "I came here tonight to make peace with you and myself as well. If you need time, I'll go."

Disappointment was evident in the sound of her voice, but there was a sound of respect as well. She knew there was a small chance, but she gave her best and no one could neglect that. Not even Alec.

He was staring at her without words. He felt paralyzed. He knew exactly what he wanted to say, but he couldn't. The words remained on his tongue, and he wasn't able to open his mouth to let them out. To go and find the person they were dedicated to.

She took a deep breath as she stepped away from him.

"I think I'll better get back to Crash. Don't forget, I meant every word I said tonight and if one of those words touched you enough to break that final wall, I hope you will tell me that. One day, at least."

With that she left his apartment and without thinking she started to walk down the stairs. Her mind was blank and her mind was thinking about one of Alec's last words: _I don't want you as a friend..."_

"_Why didn't he say something?_ "– she thought. – _"Why didn't he touch me?"_

She walked to her ninja and without looking back she left leaving Alec alone in his apartment.

He stood there quietly, thinking about what had happened these last few days. He found his first love, lost her, than found his second love. And now he was again alone in his apartment. There was a sound of silence, which brought a penetrating acheness. He knew he was the only one who could be considered guilty. He had his fortune on the palm of his hand and he let her go.

"_Why do feelings come alongside with fear? With anticipation that love will disappear?"_ –Alec questioned himself. For the first time, his thoughts were about love. He was a soldier, and soldiers aren't' supposed to feel anything. Now, his only thoughts were about the way one girl made him feel. About his mistake of letting her go. About not trying to show her his heart is full of emotions only for her.

Something shifted in his eyes. It was like a dark cloud was lifted from them. He looked at the empty room once again and decided:

"_I need to hear her voice here…"_

He got his jacket and headed outside.

The night was warm and calming, but there was nothing calm in Alec's mind and heart. Warm wind was brushing against his neck as he sat on his motorcycle. He closed his eyes, remembering Max's words:

"_I think I'll better get back to Crash…"_

He started his ninja, and followed Max's tracks back to Crash.

"_I'm an idiot."_ – he thought. – "_Why do I have to screw up everything? Why didn't I just kiss her back at my flat?"_

In a few minutes he was standing outside of Crash, his eyes seeing that Max had already arrived.

"_Well, I guess now it's my turn to pour my heart out."_ – he sighed as he slowly approached the front door.

Max came inside trying to find OC. She wasn't too happy as she saw she was with Sketchy and two girls. She at least hoped that she would be able to talk with her friend alone.

"_Maybe I can tear her away from them."_ – she considered. Max plastered on her best happy face and approached their table.

"Hey, guys" – she said smiling, but that smile disappeared as soon as she met OC's eyes.

"What are you doing here, boo? I thought you went to take care of…some business." – OC asked trying not to show her astonishment. She saw Max was sad, and she concluded that things with Alec went bad.

"I took care of that." – Max said diverting her stare to the floor. – "There's nothing more I can do."

Sketchy watched the word game between Max and OC and smiled so no one could see him. He knew exactly what was going on, but he knew no one would take him seriously, so he remained quiet.

"So, Max, are you buying us a beer?" – he asked. – "We're thirsty."

Max looked at him realizing she needed to stop thinking about what had happened. The world is continuing and she needed to keep up. With no regrets.

"Sure." – she said smiling and walked over to the counter.

OC kept watching her with a suspicious look in her eyes.

"Listen , I'll go over there to help her. Be right back."

Max was leaning against the counter waiting for the waiter to give her the pitcher. She was very relieved that Sid was nowhere near. She wasn't in the mood for his questions. Suddenly she remembered that the night was dedicated to some piano player so she turned her stare towards the piano. But, no one was playing.

"He's on a break." – OC said startling Max who didn't see her approaching on the other side.

"Is he any good?

"He's not bad…So, are you gonna tell me what happened. I presume you went ahead with your plan, whatever it was? –OC asked.

"Yes, I did." – Max replied dryly. – It didn't go like I hoped, but I said everything I needed to."

"And what about him?"

Max laughed ironically but soon she replaced the smile with the saddest look OC had ever seen. She felt sorry for her friend, but also felt angry with Alec.

"_Idiot."_ – she thought, but she focused on what Max was saying.

"Well, he didn't say anything."

"Nothing?" – OC asked bewildered.

"Well, actually, he said he doesn't wasn't to be my friend cause he knows there is more between us than just pure friendship."

"Huh?" – OC asked not believing what she was hearing. – "Let me get this straight. You went there, told him everything, he agreed there is something between you too, and now you're here moping?"

"You don't understand, OC. He froze at the moment I asked him what would happen between us. Even if he mentioned something conclusive, I would know he'd still have some breaks. And I don't want that. I want it all. I know it's not fair considering everything I've done, but I can't hide it. I want him. I want him to want me back. Nothing else." – she felt tears in her eyes, but she didn't even try to wipe them off. She continued to pour her heart out.

"This was the first time I opened my heart this way. It hurts. It's like all the pain I felt because of Manticore was replaced with this love ache, and I still feel like someone is stepping on it, you know?" – she stopped as she remembered something and she smiled shyly.

"Don't laugh now, but when I was there, I was watching him, but not just watching him. I looked at his shirt and it looked so warm, I wanted to be in his arms because of it. I looked at his hair, and I wanted to run my fingers through it. I wanted to feel everything. And I don't mean just sexual. I wanted to feel him close to me."

OC felt sad just listening to Max speak. That was the first time she heard her speak so openly. She guessed it was the night to let her emotions out. That was the breaking point for Max. No more hiding her feelings.

"Listen, boo, you know I could kick Alec's ass if you wanted me too. But, that would not be of any use. The way you're feeling right now is going to go away, trust me. You are the strongest person I know, but love is not the war. Not that kind you can fight with your fists. And even if Alec doesn't change his mind, you won this. You learned something new about yourself. I learned something new about you. And I'm proud to be your friend."

Max's heart was suddenly filled with her friend's love and she felt she truly belonged to this world.

She took OC's hand in hers and whispered.

"Thanks."

The waiter brought them their drinks and they returned to their table. OC placed the pitcher on the table her eyes falling to a familiar person. She dropped the pitcher and it fell on the floor breaking into small pieces.

"Well, great. I guess, Max, your money went to waste." – Sketchy said observing the pool of beer on the floor. But Max was just staring at OC who wasn't sure should she even say anything.

"OC. What's wrong?"

"Boo, look." – she nodded her head in the direction of the stairs where Alec stood.

Max looked up and shock was written all over her face. She felt her heart racing and her legs weren't able to move.

Alec locked eyes with hers as he approached them. Even OC saw he got his self esteem back. It was shown in the way he walked and even if she wasn't attracted to him, she could recognize the old Alec was back.

"Hey, man" – Sketchy yelled. – "Care to join us?"

Alec smiled at his friend and nodded but he turned his attention back to the woman he came there to see in the first place.

"Max." – Alec said quietly.

She stood there not saying anything. It wasn't her turn…

"I'm in love with you." – he said bluntly.

Everyone at the table remained quiet as they anticipated Max's response. But, her emotions were too mixed to have a normal reaction to his statement. Nevertheless, the relief she felt was showing.

"Come with me." – Alec said taking her hand into his.

He led her to the furthest part of the Crash. The light was dimmer there and the air was heavy, which caused Max to start breathing more deeply.

Not removing his hand from hers, he looked at her.

"I didn't want to wait for one day like you said. I hope you don't mind. – He smiled at her and she smiled back at him, but she let him speak. – "When you left, my place it seemed so empty. You filled it with your words and feelings, and when you left they remained there. But, without you. That's when I realized. They've meant the world to me. You mean the world to me. You're the only one who knows me and I don't feel scared about that anymore. I fell in love with you, and that scared me at first. Now, I'm not scared, I just want you in my life."

Max absorbed his every word not realizing she was squeezing Alec's hand more with his every word, like she was expecting him to stop talking if she let go. When he stopped, her hand left his and she placed it on his chest. She traced her hand over his shirt, the same shirt she was dreaming about. Alec didn't know what she was doing but he let her go.

After a few seconds her hand went to his hair and she ran it through. At last she touched his lips moving her finger gently over them. First his upper lip, then the bottom. Alec instinctively opened his mouth a little. His hand gripped hers as he removed it away from his lips. He brought her closer with merely inches keeping them apart.

"Max, I'm gonna kiss you now. Like I didn't do that night." – he repeated her words from before. – "You don't have to say anything. I will know…."

He finished his thought before placing his lips over hers. She trembled at the touch and that made Alec place his hands around her. They deepened the kiss. Their kisses grew in intense, and soon they weren't thinking of anything else but each other.

Lips still touching, Alec opened his eyes to find that she was watching him too.  
It should be weird, this open-eyed kissing, but instead it was richly intimate,  
sensual, the connection between them almost touchable, enveloping them with it's  
intensity. She was looking into his soul, baring her own. In that moment he knew  
that she was his, too.

"I love you." – his words came out, barely more than a whisper.

The moment was gone, and her gaze dropped into hiding beneath her long, dark lashes.  
"I..." she begins, but he stops her  
"Shh...don't. Unless you mean it..."

"I do mean it. It's just…" – she took in a deep breath as she fixated her intense gaze on him and drew in a deep breath. When she spoke, her voice was soft and sweet as honey.  
"I love you, Alec."

This was the second time a woman had told him she loved him. And now, he was able to say those words back for the first time. And he was glad that it was her who was listening to them.

He held her tightly as she breathed in his scent. She was where she wanted to be. In the arms of the man she loved and loved her back. No more hiding, no more acting. Just two ex-soldiers finding their place in the world, and in each other's arms.

THE END

A/N – I still hope to hear your opinion about my last chapter, you know…


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